Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Massive Feline

The Internet Adds 15 Pounds

Inktober 2020, Day 26:

I have neglected to mention another favorite category of animal videos: the huge, the massively rotund, or the generally fat. Why are obese animals so compelling? I can’t begin to attempt to explain.

But I have not done this particularly epic feline justice.

Always Has Been


Wait, It’s All Doge?

Inktober 2020, Day 25

I can’t say this image came directly to me from our sons, rather the two precursors did. 

One son showed me a descendant of the “Wait, It’s All Ohio?” meme template. In the original....(if there is an actual point of origin) Two astronauts look at the earth. One says, “Wait, it’s all...?” The other one prepares to shoot him, replying, “Always has been.” Ohio can be replaced by other countries, a hat, chicken tenders, or...Doge.

The Doge meme proliferation was so, well profuse, that I was aware of it years back.  If it needs explaining, I will only note the high points: pictures of a particular Shibu Inu dog, pidgin English statements in neon comic sans font, and a dysfunctional internet currency, Dogecoin, which is now, more or less worthless.

But suddenly, Doge memes are back.  Our son showed me one recently which perplexingly involved horniness and several other things that I could not possibly retain, or unpack here if I could.

Maybe it’s not all entirely Doge, but it seems like it could be at any moment.

Monday, October 26, 2020

No No Drawing


No No, Don’t Draw That There:

Inktober 2020 Day 24

(Still lagging behind, I know)

As usual, this meme features the confluence of two things that I did not know anything about. Our son showed me a clip of a strange avatar with what appeared to be brushes protruding from his head. He is sitting (sort of, the rendering makes him part of the chair) on a rooftop, chanting, “No no, don’t touch me there. This is my no no square.” 

A similar figure walks up to him and picks up his chair, screaming, “Fuck your No No Square!” and flings him off the roof.

Apparently the “No no Square” song was released in 2008 to work against sexual abuse- the square in question referring to a body area. It was repurposed by multiple TikTokers in 2012. This particular video comes from a bit recorded in VRChat, a free to play, massively multiplayer online virtual reality social platform (according to Wikipedia)

That information did not really help me to understand the appeal or the humor, but there it is.

Definitely an opportunity for proving that my drawing is no better than a crappy video still, though.

Cruciferous Induced Gagging


Cats Gagging at the Smell of Broccoli

Inktober 2020 Day 23

...And apparently, other cruciferous vegetables, citrus, and, at least in one case, the scent of a newborn human’s head, can prompt an extreme gagging reaction in cats.

As cats are obligate carnivores, it is not surprising that they would be repelled by fruits and vegetables. (The infant is more of a mystery)

Having lived with several cats before I married a man who was seriously allergic to them, I can report that they do have a special talent for gagging. And back in the dim dark days before YouTube, it would never have occurred to me that waving a broccoli floret under our pet’s nose would be a path to internet fame.

Great flamethrower! Where can I get one?

The Gayest Flamethrower You Have Ever Seen:

Inktober 2020 Day 22

This clip has been around since 2016, but my older son was enjoying it enough recently to show it to me. I thought it looked like it came from a movie, but couldn’t place it immediately.  A disheveled man sitting on a bus suddenly jumps up and yells out the bus window in Russian, “Great Jacket! Where can I get one?” at a man who appears to be wearing a top made of mirror shards. The mirrored man responds promptly by shouldering a flame thrower and setting the bus on fire.

The clip is easily found online by searching for ‘Great Jacket’.... or by the preceding line delivered in English by the same character, “That has got to be the gayest jacket I have ever seen!”  One can also discover that the clip comes from the 2016 Russian film, “Hardcore Henry.” 

I remember how much our younger son wanted to see the movie when it was released. It is essentially a feature length first person shooter, filmed by literally strapping the camera to the central character’s face. Henry is relatively inactive in these few seconds of film, but for the rest of the movie he is shooting, punching, jumping, running, or blowing things up nearly incessantly. 

I don’t think I have the stamina to make it through the entire movie, so I cannot explain the reason or the sexual orientation behind the mirrored jacket. But it is an incongruous moment in the movie, perfectly suited to memehood.

Suggestive Hand Gestures


Trump Plays The Accordion

(Or Maybe the Concertina) 

Inktober 2020 Day 21

Huw Parkinson’s videos of Donald Trump apparently yanking an accordion back and forth while delivering speeches were in broad circulation back in January of 2017. But sadly, our kids did not bring them to my attention until relatively recently.  

Once one has had it pointed out that Mr. Trump repeatedly makes peculiar hand gestures that positively beg for the addition of a cartoon squeeze box, it is very hard to unsee it.  I was on the lookout for the gesture during last night’s debate, and was not disappointed. It is good to have something to occupy one’s attentions besides what is actually being said.

In the past, anything remotely approaching a political commentary here has been received with a fair amount of negative blowback.  Our younger son would like me to remind you that, during a Star Wars / Politicians series of napkins, after I drew Trump next to Jar Jar Binks, one commenter posted that the only way to appropriately even the score would be to draw Obama next to Satan. 

Perhaps I should draw Biden with an appropriate musical instrument? Or a Star

Wars character?

Lumberjack Fail


Workplace Fails: The Graceful Lumberjack Edition

Inktober 2020 Day 20

Most of the videos for the Inktober series were brought to my attention by our kids, but I thought I should give my spouse a chance to select.  He is partial to the #OSHAisthisok genre of humorous workplace accidents.  

Many of the situations are based on astoundingly bad judgement and poor understanding of the mechanics of the physical world : ladders on top of ladders on top of joint compound buckets, opening beer bottles with angle grinders, tipping over ridiculously top-heavy forklifts, backing excavators into bodies of water, etc, and the ensuing accidents seem well deserved.  Others involve substantial and cringe-inducing injuries that seem undeserved even by unsafe idiots. 

This particular example hails from the @lumberjack_daily account, and features a remarkably graceful back flip performed by the lumberjack as the large tree he just cut take out the platform he was standing on. Having looked carefully at the video, I am reasonably certain that his chainsaw landed safely far away, so hopefully there was not any serious injury.

Silly Rabbit


Rabbits Falling Off Furniture

Belated Inktober 2020 Day 19

Our son showed me a clip a couple times of a rabbit trying to scramble onto a table top to get at some suspiciously pink balls (rabbit snacks?) only to scurry, slip and catastrophically pull the place mat, many little pink balls, and a bowl off of the table with him.

When I went looking for the clip online tonight (scraping the bottom of the meme video barrel I am) I discovered there is a wide assortment of videos of rabbits falling of things. This is of course also true of cats and dogs...and well, people. That doesn’t really need to be said.  This particular clip appears to be the most popular in the falling rabbit category. At the moment anyway.

I am still exploring how bad my Inktober drawings can be....only 12 more to go. I keep hoping that I will somehow pass through the badness into something interesting, but ....maybe not holding my breath at this point.

Frenetic Biting

Comically Hostile Pets: Part Two

Inktober 2020 Day 18

(Yes, two days behind now)

Our older son initially showed me a clip that he found terribly amusing of a guy trying to pick up a hissing, biting cat while wearing oven mitts. Subsequent videos show the cat, Sir Pounce, being held by the often oven-mittless poster of the videos, Carson. There is sudden maniacally intense biting interspersed with glassy eyed stares on the part of the cat. 

After watching more than one of the videos in the Carson/Sir Pounce oeuvre, one does start to consider whether the cat’s hostility is perhaps not completely undeserved. 

Based on Mister Bubz’s example, clearly an amusingly belligerent pet can be an internet bonus... (there are mugs and t-shirts. Maybe trademark management will be forthcoming)

Could there be a chance that an enterprising individual might want to cultivate nastiness in their companion animal?

Perhaps Sir Pounce is truly enjoying the opportunity to repeatedly bite Carson. No blood seems to be drawn, which makes me wonder how serious the attacks are.

But it might be possible that I have already spent too much time thinking about this.

Mister Bubz is Bipolar


Sometimes It Pays To Be An Asshole:

(At Least If You Are A Cute Dog on the Internet)

Inktober 2020 Day 17:

(Yes, I am already running a day late)

Mister Bubz is not really a meme or a cursed image, so he is a bit of break from the Inktober theme thus far. But let’s say that his role as a canine web influencer and “the angriest dog on the internet,” makes him meme-adjacent, and maybe even cursed-adjacent.

His constant growling also makes him a thematic relative of the earlier internet-famous screaming pugs, dogs who are similarly cute and awful simultaneously.

But I don’t think the screaming pugs ever worked with the trademark team that also represents Britany Spears, or were invited to Ozzy Osbourne’s 70th birthday as Mister Bubz was.

Though I don’t know that for a fact.

Banana and Accordian

Funnier Than Slipping on a Banana Peel?

Inktober 2020 Day 16

Today’s video is a return to the “it is fun to watch other people have accidents...even in some circumstances, children” genre.

The video title is “Kid Dresses as banana, plays the accordion on a swing and fucking dies.”

I guess it is also part of the videos with titles that include the word “fuck” genre. 

The kid in question really just falls backwards off the swing.

In this case, I suppose the convergence of banana costume, accordion and accident creates a viewing experience that millions of people want to see.

Like most of these video clips, the resolution is incredibly low and the images is almost unintelligible as a still.  I am realizing my choice of Inktober project has landed dead center in my drawing weak spot: I don’t do so well when I don’t have anything to look at. Maybe this is a good thing?

But probably not.


Pug Screams At God?


God Is Dead.

But We Have Screaming Pugs.

Inktober 2020 Day 15

There are a lot of videos of pugs making noises that one might consider paying money not to hear. But judging by the millions of views, there seems to be something redeeming in the awfulness.

This choice video “Pug Party God Is Dead,” features a woman repeatedly announcing in a sing-song voice, “Pug Party?!” 

The pug responds with enthusiastic, but utterly horrifying wails. 

Superimposed on the screen are words and phrases like, “END MY SUFFERING,” “PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME” “FUUUCK,” and of course, “GOD IS DEAD” 

Because pugs do like their  Nietzsche references. 

My suspicion is that the screaming pug thing was mostly popular some years back, but this particular video  was reposted recently and caught one of our sons’ attention. 

It is oddly appropriate for 2020. Though I can’t really explain why.

But I am always happy to draw a pug, particularly one on a red and green rug.


Kermit Kermits

Inktober 2020 Day 14:

The Kermit memes are legion. Our kids weren’t that interested in Sesame Street and didn’t spend much time with the frog in early childhood, so he doesn’t have a lot of extra appeal for them as a meme character. 

But the meme subgenres of Sad Kermit or self-harm Kermit are somehow compelling. 

This video in particular, where first we see Kermit’s hand(?) playing the first few notes of “Another One Bites The Dust” on a piano, but he is singing instead: “I really just want to die...” The next image is of him swinging from a noose in a bedroom, with an Elmo in the background. 

Why is this so hysterically funny? 

Really, I am asking. 

There is of course  the “Kermit Suicide” angle. Previously, more than one video like “I am going to Kermit Suicide” in which the frog throws himself off a building, received millions of views.

If Cookie Monster hanged himself, it just wouldn’t be as hilarious, would it?

Would it?

Hi Herbert


Herbert Says Many Things,

But I am not sure what.

Inktober 2020 Day 13

The original video clip from May 2020 features a woman saying “Hi Herbert,” and a white kitten responding with a cute high pitched squeak. 

It was very straightforward and only a couple of seconds long, but so inspiring of hundreds of other versions. 

Herbert’s squeak has been replaced with screams, fog horns, guitar chords, etc. 

This meme is spliced with dozens of others that I can only guess at. There are several “Hi Herbert” compilations that are testaments of the ingenuity of people who perhaps have nothing better to do?

Apparently I had nothing better to do than to make a bad drawing of Herbert, so I am definitely not judging.

Flipping Cats Off

You Can Never Go Wrong With a Cat Video

Inktober 2020 Day 12:

While it might be an urban legend that 15% of all internet traffic is images of cats....sometimes it still seems like that might be true. 

For two pet-less kids, our sons are remarkably receptive to the charms of cat videos.

If there is a middle finger involved also, all the better.

Who knew that there were vast compilations of videos displaying that “Cats Hate Being Flipped Off” and similarly titled opuses. 

As a former cat cohabitant, I can say that it is more like isolated fingers are just plain irresistible prey. 

But you knew that already. 

Penguin Attack

Penguin Attack

Inktober 2020 Day 11:

Because sometimes you just want to watch a clip of a penguin shooting out of the water and bouncing off a man.....repeatedly.

Friday, October 16, 2020

Likable Cut Melon

I Like Your Melon G
Inktober 2020 Day 10

The “I Like Ya Cut G” meme is one more bit of evidence that I will never really understand or truly appreciate the internet that our kids inhabit. 

Like many such memes, I first heard the phrase, delivered by one son to the other, as he whacked him hard on the back of the head. 

Knowyourmeme.com reports that the first video dates back to 2018 and featured a man delivering the soon to become catchphrase to a bald child before slapping him on the back of the head. 

This spawned a thousand iterations, often with some sort of sound, like a shriek, or strangely, the Taco Bell noise (let’s just skip that) following the slap. 

Have read the etiology of this meme, I still basically fail to understand its appeal. Yes, hitting people on the head is always funny to some, but still...why all of the iterations of this one. Surely there are other excuses for swatting people and objects?

I did find something appealing about the dolphin version of the meme. (Though of course, it is not a dolphin, it’s a Beluga whale.)

Wikipedia informs me that a Beluga whale “possesses a distinctive protuberance at the front of its head which houses an echolocation organ called the melon which in this species is large and deformable”

In other videos, Belugas seem receptive to having their melons “deformed” by a friendly human hand, so this does seem to be contrary to the basic antagonistic nature of the “I like ya cut G” meme. But maybe I like my memes less antagonist.

And maybe I just wanted to draw a Beluga. 


Another Bad Drawing of Something You Shouldn’t Laugh At

Inktober 2020 Day 9

Our older son really enjoyed showing me a video of a man bouncing an infant on a yoga ball until the ball suddenly explodes- apparently just at the moment that he does not have a firm grip on the baby. The baby drops behind the activity box on the floor, completely disappearing as if swallowed by the floor.

My son pointed out that I seemed compelled to make the same startled noise as the baby dropped every time I watched the video...no matter how many times I had seen it already. 

Usually the enjoyment of watching other people wipe out on youtube does not extend to infant injury, but somehow the performance of dubious parenting here makes this weirdly compelling viewing. (The initial bouncing is a maybe a little ill advised for a baby too young for  head and neck control, and then perhaps startled, the guy actually stands up as the baby falls rather than trying to stop the descent)

Luckily our kids survived their infancy, and now my bad parenting manifests in allowing them to watch baby dropping memes.

That’s Not Michael Either

Inktober 2020 Day 8

Our kids have always enjoyed a nice creepy image or a scary story. 

In their younger years, the resulting exposure to scary stuff might have made it difficult to, say, go to the kitchen to get a glass of water when the lights were out. One never knows what horrors might lurk in one’s own domicile. 

I have tried explaining that we are too far boring for Abominations to take an interest in. And hiding in dark corners waiting for a teenager to leave his room to go to the bathroom...that’s really dull stuff. Monsters have more interesting places to be.

But the very brief video clip known as “That’s Not Michael” definitely puts an amusing spin on the casual dismissal of horrors lurking in domestic spaces. The carrier of the video phone is walking around a cluttered basement looking for Michael. He looks down a dark hallway to see a very ominous, tall, naked figure squatting at the end, which turns to look over its shoulder at him with green glowing eyes. The narrator/ cameraman, comments dispassionately, “that’s not Michael” and moves on.

The figure at the end of the hall is mostly in shadow and mostly suggested, other than its glowing eyes.

It only took a couple of  google searches to come up with the author of the video, Zulubo Productions, and the “how to make a cursed video” / making of “that’s not Michael” video, which shows the very literal animated figure that he posed and placed at the end of the hall.

My son says that kind of spoiled his enjoyment of the video.  That plus a bad drawing, and my work for tonight is done.

It’s Fun Until Someone Loses An Eye- then it lives forever on YouTube?

Inktober 2020 Day 7

Ah, the endless joy of watching short video clips of other people getting hurt. And it’s even better when there is a compilation of multiple clips.  And then add some snappy music.

The “Wii Sports Resort” meme checks all these boxes and additionally provides perverse nostalgia for our formerly Wii Sports Resort playing kids.  The video is a series of unrelated clips, each representing one of the sports options off the main menu: basketball, bowling, boating, etc., and of course, archery.

Each clip features accidental or intentional injury- one ping pong player throws the paddle across the table at the other. One guy in a basketball one-on-one just plain decks the other guy, a man drives a boat full speed into a post.

It is both mildly funny and seriously disturbing, as the clips range from harmless stumbles to possible fatalities. 

But the clip  in which a bow tie wearing kid, who has obviously set up his phone on the floor to record himself shooting his cool nerf bow and arrow, only to have the arrow immediately bounce back to hit him in the eye, is memorable. 

I am really hoping that the clip would not have made its way to YouTube if, in fact, an eye had been lost (or damaged)

Everybody Gangsta ‘Til Rodents Who Are Probably Not Beavers Start Pushing One Another

Inktober 2020 Day 6

This one is known as “everyone gangsta ‘til the beavers pull up” and is, of course, popular with many people, including our kids.

The “Everybody Gangsta Until...” meme started back in 2015 with ...”until the cockroach flies” and has proliferated into a thousand iterations from “until your mom catches you rioting” to “til the pelican pull up at the store” 

The supposed beavers here were my first exposure to this meme. How on earth had I missed it for the last five years? 

They are standing on their hind legs and awkwardly and ineffectually shoving one another. (It’s not unlike Spider-Man fighting Jesus) There seem to be two sizes of the creatures, and the smaller ones keep trying to get in the middle of things. This is, for some reason, funny.

But I just have to point out: they are clearly not beavers. Maybe something like a groundhog? Which I learned this evening, is the same animal as a woodchuck and is sometimes know as a “whistle pig” or a “land beaver” (“Whistlepig Day?”)

I have learned so much today.

Though these pushy critters don’t really look like groundhogs....But definitely not beavers. The tails are wrong. 


Everybody Gangsta Til the Pedantic Old Lady Shows Up to the Meme Party.

Super Villain Seagull


Inktober 2020 day 5:

Sometimes all you really need is a video clip of a seagull laughing like a supervillain. 

Many have documented on YouTube the disturbingly evocative cries of gulls. But one in particular posted by  YouTuber Dimaniztlt back in 2012 features the gull throwing its head back with the malevolent flair of a Joker.

Know Your Meme reports that by 2017 the clip had over 181,000 views. It has proliferated and moved far beyond that since- and morphed into the “Seagull Inhaling” meme with a glowing red eye.

But I thought the upside down eye here was persuasive enough. 

I’ve Been A Fool


Inktober 2020 Day 4:

Our older son loves a video posted by @yeehawwsadcat of a teary-eyed cat, singing a Japanese ballad through the courtesy of creepy face morphing. 

The human lips....truly nightmare fuel.

Our younger son explains that is an example of a “cursed image.” One might briefly think this terminology originated with my own clever child...well, one might think that if one is close to my advanced age perhaps. But I have learned to think twice. I googled, and discovered on Wikipedia: “ a cursed image refers to images that are perceived as mysterious or disturbing due to their content, poor quality, or a combinations of the two. Since 2016, such images have become popular online.”

This one brings together two memes, that are each their own deep rabbit holes (or entire warrens): “Crying Cat” and “Baka Mitai”

According to Know Your Meme, the earliest know usage of the Crying Cat image was in 2014, which oddly, was a photoshopped version of Serious Cat.

It proliferated on a German image board in 2015, known there as “Schmuserkadser,” before moving to 4chan in 2016. 

Baka Mitai (I’ve Been a Fool) is a karaoke song that appears in the Yakusa series of games for the PlayStation. Baka Mitai, also known as “Dame Da Ne” for the first line of the lyrics, is a widespread meme of its own, sung by various game characters and real people. In 2020, Deepfake technology allowed many more people and characters ranging from Super Mario to Obama to sing the song without their participation in the real world.  The face morph template was apparently provided by Youtuber shaggySuave. 

No question, the queasy distortion generated by the low quality morphing is part of the charm.... if charm is the word we need here.

The Joy of Shrieking

Inktober 2020 Day 3

Continuing onward with our hapless Inktober series of bad drawings of the short videos that my sons like to show me....repeatedly.

Struggling to characterize these videos, I asked my younger son for a description and he offered, “stupid funny shit which makes me laugh.”

Tonight’s bad drawing is based on a TikTok by @gideon_mcmanus titled “pov: you used the band kid’s instrument.” Mr McManus portrays a band kid who exclaims in horror about someone using his alto sax: “You wettened my reed!!” The clip ends in a startling high pitched shriek.

I would like to add something insightful about this video, but words fail me. Suffice it to say that it is more compelling than my drawing.