Mouse Centerfuge

 Avian Rodent Abuse

Inktober 2020, Day 30

Is animal abuse more funny when perpetrated by another animal?

In this widely viewed clip, a businesslike parrot efficiently picks up a small white mouse, puts it inside a running wheel, and then proceeds to crank the wheel at high speed, effectively centrifuging the rodent. There is definitely no running involved. 

Viewer comments argue that the bird has been trained in this nasty behavior. There are other videos of the bird toting the mouse around, and shutting it in its cage, so there does seem to be a generally bossy bird situation. Whether this is a result of human intervention, I really can’t say.

I thought the whole event was a bit hard to see in the video, so I tried to draw it from another perspective. 

Ha, ha, perspective, not my strong suit, as you can see here. 

Perfectly Cut Diet Dog

 

The First Thing You Lose On A Diet Is Your Sense of Humor

(even if you are a tiny, fluffy dog)

Inktober 2020 Day 29

In this video, a Pomeranian watches a human hand deliver a pitiful two bits of kibble to its bowl, looks down at the food, looks back up, arranges its cute features just a little into a scowl, and makes to lunge at the bearer of bad meal tidings.

Perhaps he or she was irritated at obviously being set up for a meme.

Hilarious Kitten Distress

 

Continuing to Fill The Cat Quota:

Inktober 2020, Day 28

The urban legend in the early days of the Internet was that the web was 15% pictures of cats. I seem to remember that statistic was disproved, but...depending on the day, it can seem like an underestimate.

This one, “Unhappy Kitten” comes to our family from @perfectlycutscreams which is is both a social media account and a genre. The unifying characteristic is of course that the video ends with a cut off scream. The unhappy kitten might not be in fact a perfect instance of the category as there is a scream in the middle also..... but it’s got a kitten!

Massive Feline

The Internet Adds 15 Pounds

Inktober 2020, Day 26:

I have neglected to mention another favorite category of animal videos: the huge, the massively rotund, or the generally fat. Why are obese animals so compelling? I can’t begin to attempt to explain.

But I have not done this particularly epic feline justice.

Cruciferous Induced Gagging

 

Cats Gagging at the Smell of Broccoli

Inktober 2020 Day 23

...And apparently, other cruciferous vegetables, citrus, and, at least in one case, the scent of a newborn human’s head, can prompt an extreme gagging reaction in cats.

As cats are obligate carnivores, it is not surprising that they would be repelled by fruits and vegetables. (The infant is more of a mystery)

Having lived with several cats before I married a man who was seriously allergic to them, I can report that they do have a special talent for gagging. And back in the dim dark days before YouTube, it would never have occurred to me that waving a broccoli floret under our pet’s nose would be a path to internet fame.

Silly Rabbit

 

Rabbits Falling Off Furniture

Belated Inktober 2020 Day 19

Our son showed me a clip a couple times of a rabbit trying to scramble onto a table top to get at some suspiciously pink balls (rabbit snacks?) only to scurry, slip and catastrophically pull the place mat, many little pink balls, and a bowl off of the table with him.

When I went looking for the clip online tonight (scraping the bottom of the meme video barrel I am) I discovered there is a wide assortment of videos of rabbits falling of things. This is of course also true of cats and dogs...and well, people. That doesn’t really need to be said.  This particular clip appears to be the most popular in the falling rabbit category. At the moment anyway.

I am still exploring how bad my Inktober drawings can be....only 12 more to go. I keep hoping that I will somehow pass through the badness into something interesting, but ....maybe not holding my breath at this point.

Pug Screams At God?

 

God Is Dead.

But We Have Screaming Pugs.

Inktober 2020 Day 15

There are a lot of videos of pugs making noises that one might consider paying money not to hear. But judging by the millions of views, there seems to be something redeeming in the awfulness.

This choice video “Pug Party God Is Dead,” features a woman repeatedly announcing in a sing-song voice, “Pug Party?!” 

The pug responds with enthusiastic, but utterly horrifying wails. 

Superimposed on the screen are words and phrases like, “END MY SUFFERING,” “PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME” “FUUUCK,” and of course, “GOD IS DEAD” 

Because pugs do like their  Nietzsche references. 

My suspicion is that the screaming pug thing was mostly popular some years back, but this particular video  was reposted recently and caught one of our sons’ attention. 

It is oddly appropriate for 2020. Though I can’t really explain why.

But I am always happy to draw a pug, particularly one on a red and green rug.

Hi Herbert

 

Herbert Says Many Things,

But I am not sure what.

Inktober 2020 Day 13

The original video clip from May 2020 features a woman saying “Hi Herbert,” and a white kitten responding with a cute high pitched squeak. 

It was very straightforward and only a couple of seconds long, but so inspiring of hundreds of other versions. 

Herbert’s squeak has been replaced with screams, fog horns, guitar chords, etc. 

This meme is spliced with dozens of others that I can only guess at. There are several “Hi Herbert” compilations that are testaments of the ingenuity of people who perhaps have nothing better to do?

Apparently I had nothing better to do than to make a bad drawing of Herbert, so I am definitely not judging.

Penguin Attack

Penguin Attack

Inktober 2020 Day 11:

Because sometimes you just want to watch a clip of a penguin shooting out of the water and bouncing off a man.....repeatedly.

Wilfred Warrior

Still the Internet’s Reigning Apex Predator

We don’t live with a cat. After many years of cohabitation with felines, I may have a special place in my heart that is lined with hairballs and clawed funiture, but my sons don’t. 

But they still appreciate online cats. Because...  apparently everyone does. Our older son has shown me innumerable cat memes and vines, including recently one of his favorites from 2018 featuring internet famous cat Wilfred and actor Michael Rappaport.

I think it was the author of “The Lion in the Living Room: How House Cats Tamed Us and Took Over the World,” Abigail Tucker who explained that cats combine three persuasive qualities: Their giant forward facing eyes remind us of cute babies. But the same facial structure also suggests their predatory name. And cats are not facially emotive like dogs, so they present us with a blank surface on which to project our emotions....and memes.

And who better combines the triumvirate of cuteness, menace and blankness than internet famous cat, Wilfred? The Chinchilla Persian’s social media presence is what you might expect from a feline with 1.2 million followers: pictures and videos of Winfred, lapping water, sitting various places, riding in the car, being taken shopping...

....all the while, projecting an existentially destabilizing, double Eye of Sauron-like, baleful, yet blank, judging gaze over all of humanity. 

Michael Rapport’s YouTube video where he profanely and hysterically exclaims over a video of Wilfred, well, just sitting blankly in a backyard, comedically underlines the potential threat of that unblinking saucer eyed stare. 

According to Rappaport, YouTube took the video down because of “cat shaming.”

Or because it is not wise to make fun of your predator. 

VSCO Guys

Since an article in the New York Times last week quoted a 12 year old girl saying that “VSCO is basically over,” I thought maybe I’d better hurry up and post this one. 

So you are either saying to yourself, “what is VSCO?” Or,  ugh, why is the napkin woman so late to this party? 

In case my mom missed the Times article, I will  briefly summarize that the term VSCO derived from a photo editing app, and is mostly favored by “VSCO girls” as a ostensibly easy-going, “beachy” aesthetic defined by several very specific consumer items: oversized t-shirts, shoes that are ugly/comfortable but specifically branded: checkerboard Vans, Crocks with charms or Birkenstock’s, pukka shell necklaces, Pura Vida bracelets, scrunchies, Fjallraven Kanken backpacks, and hydroflask drink bottles with metal straws. 

And mixed in with the brand consciousness is vague environmentalism expressed as a “save the turtles” slogan...mostly achieved by using metal straws. 

There’s some odd imported slang involved also, but I might refrain from mentioning that here to prevent my sons from writhing on the floor in torment. It seems that parental use of trendy slang is right up there in pain intensity with being doused in gasoline and set on fire.

At any rate, the VSCO trend seems to be to mostly just teenage girls being teenaged girls with the added commercial reach and reinforcement of social media. 

When I was twelve, horrifyingly enough, it was all about disco and Sasoon Jeans. Who among us remembers Sasoon Jeans? Anyone?

Moving on: 

It seemed to me that Deadpool and John Wick would appreciate a laid back surf aesthetic. Wade’s already halfway there with the Croc’s...though he does need some shoe charms.

But what do the sea turtles think about all this?

Inktober 2019 Day 18

At Least He Didn’t Call You a Baboon:

Inktober 2019 Day 18

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead. Maybe.

There are some scientists of human behavior that say we are exquisitely attuned to interpersonal stress because humans evolved to live in a group, and anyone who was aggravating enough to get kicked out of the safety of the Paleolithic tribe was likely to go hungry or maybe become another creature’s dinner.

Human conflict is at some level innately stressful, even if, say, you are just watching Gordon Ramsay yell at someone on TV to relax before your bedtime. 

You were wondering what this had to do with sleep.

Some experts advise against watching dramatic programs that feature human faces before bed. I’ve read some articles that suggest that nature shows with animals in them might be less stressful. I have trouble following this advice, I must admit.

In this drawing, I replaced Mr. Ramsay and his objects of abuse with a Mandrill and baboons.

I was thinking of how famous Neuroendocrinologist Robert Sapolsky studied social stress in a baboon troop. Some animals suffer similar problems to humans, but they don’t have television or social media.

And maybe, I just wanted to draw mandrill and baboon faces.

Fat Raccoon

Every Gamer’s Ideal Companion:

The Joy of a Fat Raccoon.

Our younger son has been fantasizing about how cool it would be to have a pet raccoon...a FAT pet raccoon.  Fatness in a pet trash panda might in fact be inevitable, I suppose?

I gather there are some raccoon videos going around recently. Something about one trying to grab food off a kitchen counter and instead spilling a bowl of water on its own head. And fat animals appear to be endlessly compelling. I don’t think we will try to unpack the reasons for this here.

What I might have failed to mention previously here, is that a few years back we did have a very sizable raccoon in our urban Brooklyn yard. Actually it presented itself perched rather assertively on the top of our roll down gate, very unconcerned with humans, even if they were hoping up and down and pointing at it. That raccoon was clearly not pet material, and in fact its potential ongoing presence in our woodpile made the boys quite leery of going out in the yard to fetch firewood....ever. 

But if you had a pet raccoon that would sit on your desk between the PlayStation and pc.... 

You would definitely feed it leftover pizza, wouldn’t you? 

Easter Egg and Boy Chicks

For Easter:

Eggs, Boy-Chicks, Memes,

...& Chick Culling

(You might want to stop reading right now)

As previously mentioned, we’ve been working on a series on internet memes, their importance to our sons, & of course, my basic ignorance. 

Easter seemed like the day to tackle the “World Record Egg,” aka the most liked post ever on Instagram (over 53 million now), & most liked post on any social platform (according to Wikipedia).

And I would have missed it all at the time (January 2019 and onward)  if it weren’t for my sons diligently keeping me up to date.

Apparently the egg’s popularity was not born of pop cultural happenstance, but was initially engineered by select individuals as a challenge to the popularity of Ms Jenner’s picture featuring her daughter. (A mere 18 million likes!)

There were various thoughts and opinions about the egg phenomenon. Was it a triumph of community over celebrity?...populism over consumerism?

Though I don’t think he really had an opinion about any of the above topics, our younger son was definitely an enthusiastic 

egg fan at the time.

Who does not like an egg, after all? Particularly in an iconic, @shutterstock style image?

But let us think further about eggs today on Easter. 

They are pretty ubiquitous. Yes, there’s debate about their nutritional benefits. I had, however, come to the tenuous conclusion that feeding my sons “Pastured, Organic-fed” eggs was better than say Fruit Loops or bagels. Those damn expensive eggs were laid by happy hens, who frolicked on grass, eating delicious bugs, after all....

But like all things diet-, parenting-, environmental-, internet-related: 

Beware.

Even the production of virtuous eggs does not require more than a small handful of male chicks. 

Google “chick culling,” I dare you. Or don’t, & leave with the tidbit that live “maceration” is the destination for male chicks in the U.S.

I am the caretaker of two young male creatures ....for whom I prepare scrambled eggs...

Guiltily.

Happy Easter!

Presidents Day 2019

Silver Surfer and Stripped Fish Silliness

Or, My Color Palette From 1979 Makes a Strange Return Appearance:

I only have the barest sense of what speaks to my husband about the Silver Surfer character, but I am entirely certain it is not the ability to reflect pink and purple.

But while I was flipping through some old comic Surfer images, reflections of purple, magenta and the like were not uncommon. Yes, more tasteful highlights of blue and grey are more frequent, but somehow I was diverted into reliving my preadolescent aesthetic. 

I was in sixth grade when “The Silver Surfer : The Ultimate Cosmic Experience” originally was released....not that the one thing has anything to do with the other. 

My apologies to my spouse. Pink and purple is not his thing now, and I am fairly certain that he would not have appreciated my purple jacket, turquoise cowboy boots and magenta leg warmer ensemble back in 1978 either.

Silver Surfer, Norton and Stripped Bass Gift Wrap

Because no one in the family should be exempt from my half assed opportunity to do some fast crappy, drawing with the excuse in mind that I am going to cut it up and tape it to some boxes.

Not unlike the napkins, the three subject matters here are not things I know much about.  The gift recipient, of course, has infinitely more knowledge. 

It became clear during the execution, that what I really wanted to draw most was the fish. 

I think the small package was the biggest success, at least as far as the wrapping went. The contents, probably not so much.

I think I still might have an unresolved urge to draw the Silver Surfer riding a silvery fish (striped bass anyway) so maybe there is a napkin iteration coming.

Live Action Naked Mole Rat

“My dad’s allergic to every kind of fur...”

Ron Stoppable and his pet Rufus the naked mole rat from “Kim Possible”

Our younger son was a bit of a Kim Possible fan in his younger youth despite the fact that the show ended in the year of his birth. It was one of Disney Channel’s most successful animated shows until the advent of Phineas and Ferb five years later.

Our son informs me that a live action version is in the offing. Images of the non animated Kim are easily found online.

We have to wonder, however, about Kim’s sidekick Ron’s companion Rufus. The naked mole rat is kind of cute in the animated series...cute for a naked mole rat anyway.

As we have the same problem as Ron-Dad is allergic  to most furry things- our son suggested that maybe we should get a cute pet like Rufus. 

I felt compelled to illustrate what Rufus might look like in a live action version. 

Unsurprisingly, the naked mole rat enthusiasm has passed. 

Robot and Son

We’ve been enjoying reading “The Wild Robot” by Peter Brown on the subway to summer camp. A robot named Roz who is shipwrecked on an island populated by animals becomes the mother of a gosling. 

In my son’s action movie universe, the second act of the story would probably involve the revelation that Roz the maternal robot was actually a high tech killing machine from a future timeline, and she would have to use her previously hidden weaponry to save the island’s residents from an interdimensional menace. Many explosions would ensue. 

We haven’t finished the book yet, but I am pretty sure that is not what is going to happen. 

After looking at this napkin, my son told me that he envisioned Roz as looking more like Futurama’s Bender than the Terminator.

Bender would have been easier to draw.

Dumbo Octopus

Grimpoteuthis: Dumbo Octopus:

The subject of our younger son’s science report last week. I think there was a Power Point involved.

After five minutes of googling, I gather that there are 13 species within this genus of “pelagic umbrella octopuses” who vary in appearance, but all have the Dumboish fins/ears.

And, yes, apparently it is “Octopuses” and not “Octopi”...a word I have been mispluralizing for my entire life. Octopus is not Latin in origin, but rather Greek. Which would make it “Octopodes” in the plural. But the standard English plural is -“puses”

Or so I just read. 

My son is not terribly interested in this plural debate. 

And he told me I made the Dumbo unrealistically colorful, which is a definite possibility.