Easter Egg and Boy Chicks

For Easter:

Eggs, Boy-Chicks, Memes,

...& Chick Culling

(You might want to stop reading right now)

As previously mentioned, we’ve been working on a series on internet memes, their importance to our sons, & of course, my basic ignorance. 

Easter seemed like the day to tackle the “World Record Egg,” aka the most liked post ever on Instagram (over 53 million now), & most liked post on any social platform (according to Wikipedia).

And I would have missed it all at the time (January 2019 and onward)  if it weren’t for my sons diligently keeping me up to date.

Apparently the egg’s popularity was not born of pop cultural happenstance, but was initially engineered by select individuals as a challenge to the popularity of Ms Jenner’s picture featuring her daughter. (A mere 18 million likes!)

There were various thoughts and opinions about the egg phenomenon. Was it a triumph of community over celebrity?...populism over consumerism?

Though I don’t think he really had an opinion about any of the above topics, our younger son was definitely an enthusiastic 

egg fan at the time.

Who does not like an egg, after all? Particularly in an iconic, @shutterstock style image?

But let us think further about eggs today on Easter. 

They are pretty ubiquitous. Yes, there’s debate about their nutritional benefits. I had, however, come to the tenuous conclusion that feeding my sons “Pastured, Organic-fed” eggs was better than say Fruit Loops or bagels. Those damn expensive eggs were laid by happy hens, who frolicked on grass, eating delicious bugs, after all....

But like all things diet-, parenting-, environmental-, internet-related: 

Beware.

Even the production of virtuous eggs does not require more than a small handful of male chicks. 

Google “chick culling,” I dare you. Or don’t, & leave with the tidbit that live “maceration” is the destination for male chicks in the U.S.

I am the caretaker of two young male creatures ....for whom I prepare scrambled eggs...

Guiltily.

Happy Easter!

The Three Star-Lords

I neglected to post this one in a timely fashion:

The Easter Bunny, incredibly overindulgent holiday character that he (or she) is, hid Funko Pop minis inside some of the plastic eggs found in our living room Easter morning....(Along with those organic jelly beans than no one really likes since the bunny takes direction from the kids’ killjoy of a mother)

Unfortunately, given the nature of blind boxes, 3 out of the 4 Guardians of the Galaxy boxes were occupied by Star Lords.

Which made me think of The Three Stooges... my apologies to Chris Pratt.

Easter Bunny Kaiju and Gypsy Avenger

Perhaps I was too busy prepping Easter eggs for the Sunday morning hunt to make the lapine Kaiju and giant robot on this napkin look....well...giant.

Or, maybe my subconscious just knew that they were action figure toys and not towering monsters.

After seeing “Pacific Rim Uprising” and “Ready Player One” in one week, I’m not sure I can handle spectating on (or even imagining) any more giant CGI robot/monster battles during the next few days. 

Donnie Darko Inspired Creepy Bunny Mask

It's Easter, why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

I have very fond memories of "Donnie Darko," and have considered whether it might be a movie that my sons would enjoy watching. I revisited it on my iPhone a few months back and came to the conclusion that it would definitely appeal to them, but that, for a variety of reasons, they were still too young for it.

But they are not too young for creepy bunny images on Easter. 

In fact, recently my younger son wanted me to buy him a scary bunny mask. 

Once again, he gets the poor substitute of a napkin. 

Happy Easter From the Giant Stuffed Bunny

Size matters:

Our son saw a 93" stuffed bear, apparently available for sale at Costco on someone's YouTube vlog, and expressed the opinion that we definitely needed to buy one. He offered to store it in his room. I estimate that it would occupy about 33% of the space in there.

I am pretty sure that we are already overwhelmed by objects that are not exactly, as the famous Japanese declutterer Marie Kondo would say, "sparking joy." I have often joked, unhumorously while picking up the 15th Nerf weapon that I have tripped over during a day, that we are ready to appear on an episode of "Hoarders."

So, no giant styrofoam filled bear from Costco for my poor deprived son, despite the fact that it would definitely spark joy.

I drew him with a 93" Costco style stuffed bunny instead. (I don't think they have these for sale there, although my son tells me that there are other varieties of bear)

He was not impressed with the napkin alternative.

Belated Easter: Bunny Mash-up

Dummy•Grundy•Easter Bunny 

bumps a hip with

Smokey•Sonny•Chocolate Bunny

Another drawing in the PuppyMonkeyBaby series.

To be specific: that's "dummy" as in ventriloquist, "Grundy" as in Solomon Grundy, Batman's oversized undead antagonist in the Arkham game and other instances, with the legs of an actual bunny...

...And Smokey the "Only you can prevent forest fires" Bear, with the body of Sonny Bono without Cher in his best 1973 blazer, atop a partially unwrapped foil covered chocolate rabbit.

If I have to explain it all, both my drawing and the references leave something to be desired. 

And The Grundy torso came out too green and Hulk-like.

Needless to say, the kids were not particularly impressed.

Easter Peeps

A second silly Easter napkin:

We went to "Full Bunny Contact" again this year.  

The highlight of this "alternative" easter event for my sons is "Shoot the Peep" where one gets to fire a paintball gun at a guy who is dressed approximately in the spirit of the yellow marshmallow easter candies.  Last year the Peep passively cowered behind his riot shield and was relatively easy to hit.  Although he did still have a riot shield, this year's Peep was wearing considerably less protective gear and was not standing still waiting for small boys to target him. 

Thank goodness our kids' sadness at lack of Peep shooting accuracy was upstaged by a subsequent ride on a mechanical bull dressed up as a large bunny rabbit. 

But I felt that maybe the napkin should give the Peeps the upper hand, perspectivally at least. 

Bonnie from Five Nights at Freddy's for Easter

Not one of my better efforts, but the kids seemed to find it slightly amusing.

Previous attempts at the easter theme have been mixed...

The "manly" easter bunny:

The Alien with eggs:

Alien with Foil Wrapped Eggs for Easter

What my older son actually said was, "Just because we don't enjoy the Easter Bunny anymore, doesn't mean we don't believe in egg hunts." I think he might have meant, "Just because we don't believe in the Easter Bunny anymore doesn't mean we wouldn't enjoy looking for eggs."  Maybe.

Our other Easter activities this year were less traditional.  We went to an "alternative Easter carnival" on Friday. The kids' favorite activities involved using a paintball gun to shoot at a unfortunate man dressed as a Peep holding a riot shield, ("Shoot Da Peep") and throwing a ball to try to "Dunk Jesus." Given the cold weather, there was no actual dunking involved. The man dressed as Jesus was dropped into a tank full of well used sofa cushions.

And we watched this Easter themed video spoof of the Alien movie. Thus the napkin.

A split second before "Jesus" hit the cushions.

Manly Easter Bunny

Can a rabbit than delivers pastel eggs to your home be masculine in appearance without being creepy?

I should preface my comments on this napkin with the exculpatory information that I didn't even get started on it until after midnight, when any normal person who has to get up at six would have gone to bed.  I got a late start on the evening after spending a ridiculous amount of time looking for a cell phone on which I had stupidly turned off the ringer and then idiotically left it in the sleeping kids' dark bedroom.

Absent an official request from Ansel last night, I thought (not that my thoughts were at all coherent at that point) that something Easter themed would be nice.

As a child myself, I never really believed in Santa, the tooth fairy or the other standard childhood holiday characters, but I was not quite sure about the existence of the Easter Bunny for perhaps longer than I should have been.

I think this might have had something to do with an early sighting of an adult in a bunny costume at some sort of Chicago department store.  And it might have had something to do with my parents pushing the idea.  At our house, the Bunny was definitely not associated with any religion beyond the love of candy, and was compellingly described by my parents as being so tall that his ears "just brushed the top of the door jamb as he passed through."  For unknown reasons, I always pictured him as being blue and wearing some items of clothing, like a vest and a bow tie. 

I admit I have described my childhood questions about the existence of said Bunny to my own kids in a sort of "hey, you never know" fashion.  We have had Easter egg hunts where the Bunny leaves them a note which is obviously in their mother's handwriting.  "Perhaps he sends me an email and tells me what to write?" I have pathetically suggested.

In short, they have never been fooled... or particularly amused.

When I started thinking, for 45 seconds straight at least, about drawing this Bunny that I had imagined in my childhood and described to my sons, I realized he was just not going to be cool, or masculine, enough for my younger son.

Attempts to make him more of a cool guy were, like my bizarre spin on the Tooth Fairy, mostly disturbing.  Ansel humored me by taking the napkin to school, but I am sure there were plenty of disclaimers issued at lunch.

Dr. McNinja and The Rise of the Guardians' Easter Bunny for Ansel

 

Perhaps Dr. McNinja would be the man to stand up to the threatening alpha bunny from "Rise of the Guardians"

Darwin from G-Force and the Easter Bunny from Rise of The Guardians for Ansel

Darwin and the Easter Bunny debate one another's plausibility perhaps...  

The preview for "Rise of the Guardians" has my kids pretty excited about seeing the movie.  (Successful marketing at work.)   The large, sarcastic and slightly threatening bunny is definitely a highlight.  Almost as good as commando guinea pigs.