Chipmunks and Xenomorph

As Dave would say, "ALVIN!!!! Stop playing with that Xenomorph!"

Our sons enjoy how the Chipmunks behave like exuberant wayward children.  And how Jason Lee's Dave is much like a beleaguered and ineffectual parent, hopelessly trying to rein in his "kids'" out of control behaviour.

Our kids would definitely want to slide down a Xenomorph's head if they had the chance.

(I have still managed to avoid seeing "The Road Chip," thus far, but unfortunately, that cannot last forever.)

Wicket the Ewok and Alvin the Chipmunk

Small, Furry and Cute, yet Potentially Deadly

Since its release on December 18th, I have been threatened repeatedly with the possible viewing of the latest Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, "The Road Chip."

While thirteen years of parenthood has taught me that I can utterly debase myself and still live to see another day...or another insipid, grating movie... the Chipmunks movies- and yes- I have seen the first three multiple times each- truly strain my ability to cope. Excessive exposure to high pitched voices caused me to have some sort of a toxic physical reaction during the musical finale of the second movie. I made it through my theater viewing of the third film only through strategic napping.

Confronted with several requests from my sons to see "The Road Chip," I gave some serious consideration to hiring a sitter to go with them. But sadly, when I factor in the cost of tickets and popcorn, in addition to paying a sitter, the economics of the situation just didn't seem viable.  Mostly, I have just been employing evasion and distraction, hoping that the movie will have left the theaters before we manage to see it. Then we will have to watch it later at home, but at least I can flee the room when it becomes too much.

Over this last weekend, we managed to deflect the boys onto watching Star Wars movies at home instead. (Not that their father would ever see a Chipmunk movie in a theater...like Music Together classes, that is truly a bridge too far for him)

Nonetheless, while I would rather watch "Return of the Jedi" several times in place of surviving any single Chipmunk movie, I cannot say that I regard the Ewok portions of "Jedi" with anything approaching enthusiasm.  I appreciate my sons'  affection for Ewoks, and I do not mind drawing "Endorians," but for me, Ewoks are merely further along on the spectrum of insipid furry annoyance that includes Alvin, Simon and Theo.

This image probably documents my barely veiled hostility. Since Star Wars cognoscenti know that Ewoks are potentially deadly carnivores, I'm thinking that things might not look so good for tasty little morsel Alvin.  Size matters not, unless you are a much smaller furry thing.

Werechipmunk from "Jinx" Series

Kinda cute... but don't mess with his acorns.

As our younger son took all three of the novels in the series to school, it seemed like time for another "Jinx" themed napkin.

Werewolves play an important role in the Urwald, the enchanted forest of the series. There are several references to other "were" animals like werebears and werechipmunks. And the main character, a boy who has a deep, magical connection to the forest, is derisively referred to as "the werechipmunk" by some of his enemies.

I am not sure exactly what these animals look like or how they behave. While they don't morph into people, the werewolves engage in human-like behaviors; two legged locomotion, speech and the deciphering of ancient texts.  Meanwhile, these werewolves are scarier and more dangerous to humans than the average wolf.

Is it the same case for the werechipmunks? Are they dangerous killers? Can they speak?...and maybe sing in pop bands?...We came to the conclusion that perhaps they were small and endearing, but simultaneously rather formidable and dangerous.

My sons are ready to get behind anything that is cute and furry but still deadly.

Brittany and Alvin Cosplay as Starfire and Robin

There is something very discomforting about the Chipettes.  They make Alvin and his "brothers" look strangely realistic by comparison.  A chipmunk wearing a sweatshirt seems so much more reasonable when one is looking at a pony-tailed one wearing a sequined dress.

Teen Titans Robin was cool, but Ansel's response this morning to the floating rodent in a miniskirt and a crop top was literally, "eh."

Alvin of the Chipmunks Dressed as Connor of Assassin's Creed III

A television broadcast of "The Squeakquel" over the weekend reminded our younger son how much he likes the chipmunks. 

As a parent of two small boys, it is hard to decide which is more challenging:  the insipid furry with the excruciatingly high pitched voice, or the remorseless hooded slaughterer of hundreds.  

My sons are happy to emulate either one, in public and as loudly as possible.

It's a difficult choice, so here they are ridiculously rolled into one.

This morning, Archer shook his head and observed sadly, "His cheeks really mess up the hood."