Aftermath of Area 51 Raid

What One Does to Relax After the Area 51 Raid:

I rely on my sons to keep me up to date on upcoming important cultural events like the “plan” to storm Area 51.... to liberate the aliens the government is hiding therein. 

I don’t think we will be attending, back to school and all, and so hear all the flights and hotels are already booked solid....but it was entertaining to think about what aliens we might be interested in bringing home:

Stitch from Lilo and Stitch, an Ewok, and the later day Ewok- a Porg, Gizmo from Gremlins, and one of the childlike but deadly aliens from Galaxy Quest....and a red panda, just because my son would really like to have one as a pet.

And what would you do once you brought all those cool aliens (and panda) home? 

Watch youtube on your iPad on the couch while wearing your skeleton onesie, of course. 

Our son was quite concerned that the Daily Napkins followers would not be familiar with Galaxy Quest or Gremlins, released in 1999, and 1984 respectively (ouch)

But he had seen both long ago, so I am going to assume some of the rest of our audience might have also.

Ewok Outnumbered by Porgs

This napkin actually came before the New Years Porg with Ewok skull image, but the winter break from school has gotten the better of me.

Yes. We saw the Star Wars movie. (Was there a choice?) 

And yes, the Porgs were either delightful or annoying, depending on whose opinion you would like to hear. 

But at least the Porgs were not shown lactating.

This was also true for the Ewoks in “The Return of the Jedi” 

Something we did not even know that we should be thankful for back in 1983.

Happy New Year Porg with Ewok Skull

Happy New Year from Ahch-To:

Who is the most popular Star Wars charismatic microfauna now?

I feel pretty much the same way about the Porgs from “The Last Jedi” as I did about the Ewoks.

The Ewoks appeared to be dangerous predators as well as insipid furry eyesores. (They were planning to eat Harrison Ford, remember?) 

It is amusing to imagine that the Porgs might also be threatening. 

No, I don’t dislike Ewoks that much.

I just wanted an opportunity to draw a skull.

Proposed Sidekicks for Doctor Who in Season 10

Just some suggestions...

Yes, I know that they have already announced who the co stars will be for Peter Capaldi's last season. We even saw the Christmas special.

This napkin post is rather delayed, I am afraid. We had the conversation about who should replace the dear departed Clara quite a while ago. The kids both thought that a new sidekick should be someone other than another young attractive Caucasian woman, but could not agree on what sort of person should be next. I have assembled a cast of their favorites as potential companions.

Doctor Who is not really on our sons' minds right now, but as the tenth season is coming up soon, I thought perhaps it was time to post this one.

My younger son was happy to point out some of the many drawing failings on this one. Deadpool is too small,  the pug in the foreground is awkwardly posed. And, he would like to add that pugs aren't necessarily his favorite dogs right this now.

This napkin is definitely more about quantity rather than quality. Back when I was drawing two napkins a night, I used to have a rule about no more than two characters at a time. It made a lot of sense.

Star Wars Poker Game

‪"The fear of loss (in poker) leads to the dark side." 

...or don't try to cheat Yoda...unless, perhaps, you are a poker playing dog.

I thought about updating the "Dogs Playing Poker" background to something more spaceship appropriate...or maybe Tatooine-appropriate... But decided to go with the classic red and green pseudo club-decor.

The "Dogs Playing Poker" painting was actually a whole series of paintings produced by one artist over a period of years around 1894-1907 for an advertising campaign for a cigar company. Or so says Wikipedia. This image is a bit of a combination of three of them. 

My younger son was the one who suggested the poker game. He now tells me that the drawing did not live up to his expectations. He thought that R2D2 and "Chopper" the contrary droid from "Star Wars Rebels," should have been the ones passing cards in the foreground, as they both have extendible arms. 

Oh well. Another missed opportunity.


a couple of the paintings:

Yoda, C3PO, R2D2 and Wicket

Group selfie of the short of stature held up by the metallic:

This particular group of characters was requested by a non relative looking for a picture for a three year old Star Wars fan.

My younger son and I discussed what would Yoda, C3PO, and an Ewok be doing if they were together? His suggestion was that they should all be playing poker like the dogs in the well known "Dogs Playing Poker" painting.  He was familiar with it because we had a napkin a couple of years ago that brought up the idea of that painting.

While I agreed that was definitely a potentially funny scenario- (is the Ewok cheating with extra cards? Or is R2 using his extension arm to hold the cards?) Poker seemed maybe not the right fit for the those under 5.

Recently, the group selfie has become my lazy fall-back explanation for any grouping of characters.

My son tells me I still need to draw his poker game idea with Yoda, Wicket and the two droids.

Deadpool with Star Wars Friends

Deadpool goes well with everyone....maybe.

With the impending (May 10th) release of the Deadpool movie on iTunes, my younger son wants to assign me the ridiculous task of editing the thing down to the portions that could be watched by a nine year old.  He is convinced that the universe it will remain a totally unjust place (yeah? Get used to it kid) until he has seen the movie.

I will admit that I am hoping someone out there in internet land will shoulder this burden for me and release a cut (5 minutes long? 10 minutes?) of the movie that is appropriate for the PG-13 crowd.

But I am not holding my breath.

And although they have insipid cuteness and violence in common, I fear things would not go well between Wade and the diminuative Star Wars folk.

(See our other Deadpool napkins at this link)

Wicket the Ewok and Alvin the Chipmunk

Small, Furry and Cute, yet Potentially Deadly

Since its release on December 18th, I have been threatened repeatedly with the possible viewing of the latest Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, "The Road Chip."

While thirteen years of parenthood has taught me that I can utterly debase myself and still live to see another day...or another insipid, grating movie... the Chipmunks movies- and yes- I have seen the first three multiple times each- truly strain my ability to cope. Excessive exposure to high pitched voices caused me to have some sort of a toxic physical reaction during the musical finale of the second movie. I made it through my theater viewing of the third film only through strategic napping.

Confronted with several requests from my sons to see "The Road Chip," I gave some serious consideration to hiring a sitter to go with them. But sadly, when I factor in the cost of tickets and popcorn, in addition to paying a sitter, the economics of the situation just didn't seem viable.  Mostly, I have just been employing evasion and distraction, hoping that the movie will have left the theaters before we manage to see it. Then we will have to watch it later at home, but at least I can flee the room when it becomes too much.

Over this last weekend, we managed to deflect the boys onto watching Star Wars movies at home instead. (Not that their father would ever see a Chipmunk movie in a theater...like Music Together classes, that is truly a bridge too far for him)

Nonetheless, while I would rather watch "Return of the Jedi" several times in place of surviving any single Chipmunk movie, I cannot say that I regard the Ewok portions of "Jedi" with anything approaching enthusiasm.  I appreciate my sons'  affection for Ewoks, and I do not mind drawing "Endorians," but for me, Ewoks are merely further along on the spectrum of insipid furry annoyance that includes Alvin, Simon and Theo.

This image probably documents my barely veiled hostility. Since Star Wars cognoscenti know that Ewoks are potentially deadly carnivores, I'm thinking that things might not look so good for tasty little morsel Alvin.  Size matters not, unless you are a much smaller furry thing.

Jedi Ewok and Mandalorian Jawa

No, we have not seen the movie yet (opening today, for those reading this in the distant future)....and will not for a while.... but this images was my younger son's request for the occasion of the opening of "The Force Awakens."

He specified that the Ewok should be dressed as a Jedi, and the Jawa as a Mandalorian Bounty Hunter like Boba Fett.  The Fetts are perhaps best recognized by their storm trooper-like helmets.  But when I asked my son if the Jawa should be wearing such a helmet, he regarded me sadly and said, "No, of course not, how can you tell that he's a Jawa if he's wearing a helmet?"

I am pretty sure that he had something more active and slapsticky in mind for these two, but I was only able to pull off something stolid and static.

You'd think I would be better at drawing Ewoks and Jawas by now, wouldn't you?

Ewok and Jawa on Swagways

A lower center of gravity might help when it comes to a Swagway....

This image was definitely not one of my better efforts. I cannot really explain why rudimentary drawing skills, including basic perspective, seemed to elude me here.

Our younger son has been coveting a "hover board" recently.  While we will not be able to provide one of these rather pricey items for the coming holiday, I did my best to draw them on a napkin at least.

Usually, there is nothing that cannot be improved with the addition of a Jawa or an Ewok, but even short aliens who say things like "Ootini" and "Yub yub" was not enough to redeem this image.

My younger son's reaction to this drawing was, "What is wrong with the Jawa?" Obviously, my hilarious concept of the Star Wars characters having trouble balancing on the boards was not convincing.

My old son told me that the Jawa should be taking apart the board instead of riding on it.

Ewok, Jawa and BB-8

Diminutive Star Wars people squabble over BB-8...or maybe they are sharing nicely?

Our kids are pretty enthusiastic about the upcoming Star Wars movie... But will there be Endorians and Jawas?

(Probably a better chance of seeing Jawas on Tatooine)

Wicket the Ewok Rides a Dimorphodon

Malicious Insipidity Rides Again:
Star Wars Rides Dinosaurs #8

While we were discussing who should ride what next in the Star Wars/ Jurassic World series, the two kids ended up having a nasty little spat.  I was having trouble deciding who to put on the Mosasaurus, (the giant aquatic dinosaur who solves the Indominus Rex problem at the end of Jurassic World) so I suggested to them that maybe it should be an Ewok.

And of course if there is an Ewok anywhere, as far as my sons are concerned, it has to be saying "Yub Yub!" This idea of a napkin with an Ewok saying "Yub Yub!' was so entrancing that each of the two kids insisted that he had to have it. As usual, their logic was persuasive but contradictory.  The younger kid argued that the Star Wars Rides Dinos series was his, so he should have it. The older kid argued that it wasn't fair for his brother to have the whole series and that he should get to have at least one.

The situation started to devolve quickly, and since the kids were riding in the cargo bike at the time, I couldn't allow much pinching and poking to transpire without all of us ending up horizontal in the street.  I used my best "how to deal with toddlers squabbling over the same toy" tactic:  Rather than wisely mediating the conflict, I just introduced another variable: "So what do you think a Jawa should be riding when he says "Utinni!"?

The older kid was immediately mollified by the idea of having a Jawa saying "Utinni!" on his napkin.  While the younger one wanted that one too, he was satisfied with his ownership of the Ewok saying "YubYub!"

Crisis averted: everyone would have a drawing of a little creature saying some cute nonsense.  The dinosaurs were kind of beside the point.  Neither ended up on the Mosasaurus....I'm thinking maybe Emperor Palpatine....

Wicket and Paddington with Storm Trooper Helmet

An Ewok and a Bear share a moment.
Maybe they are considering eating something other than marmalade?

I thought that Wicket and Paddington had so much in common, how could I not put them together on a napkin?  They are both short, furry persons who wear stuff on their heads and live in forests.

And Ewoks and Bears are sometimes predatory. If the details of "Return of the Jedi" are not fresh in your mind, my sons would be happy to remind you that the Ewoks initially try to roast Luke and Han alive for dinner. At the conclusion of the movie, the Ewoks are playing Storm Trooper helmets and armor like a xylophone, and the suggestion is that the former occupants of the armor have met a rather unfortunate, (but perhaps not unsavory) end.

Of course Paddington and his much larger Aunt Lucy and Uncle Pastuzo seem to prefer to eat marmalade.  Spectacled Bears, the real life bears who live in Peru, actually eat very little meat. (I looked this up on Wikipedia, can you believe it?) But they do eat some flesh when it is available.

Stormtrooper might be an acquired taste.

Ewok Pilot and Yoda Hanging Out

Yub Yub?

There's been a little resurgence of interest in things Star Wars recently at our house. The contents of the enormous container of action figures and space ships got strewn all over the hallway, and we reread some of Jeffrey Brown's "Jedi Academy" series.

One of Ansel's favorite aspects of the series is "Ewok Pilot" a comic-within-the-book penned by the main character. The Ewok Pilot creates humorous disorder and speaks in cute Ewokisms along the lines of the aforementioned "Yub Yub!" and the always popular "EE Chee wa maa!!"

While the two characters might be near the same height, I didn't think Yoda would be as  impressed as my sons are with Ewok Pilot


And....pathetically, I just have to point out how nicely the napkin pattern lined up with Yoda's face. It's rare that I am able to make it work out so well.
Sad that this passes as a visual design accomplishment for me, but so be it.

From Halloween to Christmas

Ansel's napkins from the fall holiday season, more or less.
Certain themes stand out: Rocket Raccoon and the Guardians of the Galaxy, Sea Otters, Ewoks and Star Wars.

Canine and Feline Ewok Cosplay

I can't seem to stop with the Ewoks this week.

I swore to myself yesterday that there would be no more, yet when confronted with the napkin void at 11 pm last night, I could not come up with anything more compelling.... or anything more compelling that I was capable of drawing at 11 pm last night.

I can only offer in my defense that Ansel loved reading "Ewoks: Shadow of Endor" a relatively recent graphic novel that takes place between "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi."  And he has left little drawings of Ewoks all over the house.

Archer suggested that we should actually watch "Return of the Jed" sometime.  I am not certain that Ansel has seen it, recently converted Star Wars hater that he is.  Archer added, "It is my favorite Star Wars film....And do you know why?"  I asked, "Does it have something to do with very small actors in fur suits?"  "No," he replied, "Epic space battles!"

Ansel is less interested in epic space battles than his brother, but the fur suits might win him over.

Zombie Ewok With Candy Corn

If you can't have brains, maybe corn syrup and food coloring will do?

Clearly, I need to get these Ewoks out of my brain. Just like I will soon need to purge the candy corn from my digestive tract.

Perhaps it is needless to point out, but zombie Ewoks are not a new concept.  There seems to have been quite a bit of "The Ewoking Dead" going around a couple of years ago.  I was thinking in particular of a sketch by Austin Madison from 2012 of a zombie Ewok pulling gore out of a helmet. I am not sure if he was solely responsible for the Ewok Zombie concept or just an outstanding practitioner.  Finding the answer to this sort of question violates my "no more than 5 minutes of research regarding napkins" rule.

At any rate, there are also limits to what I can draw for second grade lunch, so no dripping blood here, just some confectioner's glaze and artificial dyes Red 3, Yellow 2 and Yellow 5.

Wicket Winter Soldier

Ansel spent some quality time over the weekend making little Ewok figures representing himself and all of his friends. I cannot remember what brought up the Winter Soldier recently... But he is always cool as far as the kids are concerned.

Archer looked at the drawing this morning and said, "What happened, did Wicket eat Bucky?"

Wicket and Chopper with Candy Corn

Short and grumpy, yet still irreverently endearing.

As I needed to paint a lot of straps onto a pair of sweatpants for Archer's costume for today's incredibly important Middle School Halloween Dance last night, I warned Ansel that I might not be able to manage a good drawing for today's napkin. (Hint: there is a tall stack of napkins that have not been to school yet, choose one of those.)

He offered, "Oh, you don't have to do much. Just draw an Ewok."

Ansel told me he has been hoping that Ewoks will turn up on the new "Star Wars Rebels" TV show.  I said something noncommittal about how there are a lot of aliens to choose from in the Star Wars (expanded) universe.  He responded, "Well, they have picked mostly pedestrian aliens for the show so far." 

Ansel had apraxia in his early life (a neurological based speech disorder) and sometimes, even at seven years old, he is not saying what I think he is saying. So I asked somewhat condescendingly, "What do you mean by 'pedestrian?'  That word means someone who is walking.  It can also mean boring or uninspired..." 

He responded, somewhat irritated by my question, "Yes, I know. That is why I used the word."

Alright. I guess an Ewok would not be a pedestrian choice.

Ewok Halloween

What does the Ewok say on Halloween?
"Yub yub"... or perhaps it is: "Give me candy or I will stab you with a spear and roast you alive over a fire."

Ansel is suddenly interested in Ewoks again.  I am pretty sure that he has never seen "Return of the Jedi," so his enthusiasm is mostly about them being small, cute, furry and reminiscent of the pet dog that his cruel parents have not provided.  One appears in Jeffrey Brown's "Jedi Academy" saying amusing things like "yub yub."  The present Ewok popularity, however,  is due mostly to the latest LEGO catalog which features the highly desirable and painfully expensive "Ewok Village" set. Merely $249 for 1,990 LEGO pieces! The only parts of the set that really interest Ansel of course are the 5 Ewok minifigures.  Spending over two hundred dollars for 5 minifigures makes perfect sense to my seven year old son.

Ansel's helpful older brother reminded him last night that under the right conditions, Ewoks might eat humans. (In the movie, they first try to roast Harrison Ford, and later, the many empty Storm Trooper helmets in use as bongos during the final celebration scene suggest that the men who wore them have met an unpleasant fate.)

Cute is always appealing for my sons.  Cute but deadly is even better.

(There is a actual video spoof entitled "What Does the Ewok Say?"...  In the unlikely event that you were thinking that you haven't seen enough Ewoks lately.)