Teacup Pig as Angel with a Kamehameha Shotgun

Not just an imaginary interdimensional porcine mini angel carrying a firearm....

There's potentially a lot to explain here, but rest assured, this picture was a very specific request cooked up by my sons last night. The short version of the story is that this image represents the confluence of multiple things that my sons are thinking about:

They are still very much interested in listening to The Cab's song "Angel with a Shotgun," which is appealing because it is the soundtrack to a fan made "Attack on Titan" video (over 500,00 views with commentary written in Thai) and also evokes Doctor Who's Weeping Angels for them. And of course, there is the repeated reference to a weapon in a catchy song, so that's appealing right there.... (There was a previous "Angel With a Squirt Gun" napkin from 2014 that hashed over these topics if you really think you might want to read more.)

Teacup pigs are a sore topic this week, because, as mentioned in our previous post, we will not be adopting a soon-to-be-immense micromini-pig any time soon...despite our younger son's overwhelming need for one.

This minipig is not only armed with just any shotgun. It is shooting a "Kamehameha Wave."  And what is that? you may wonder.  I had been wondering myself for a while about the yelling of "CAH-ME YAH-ME YAH!!!!" that was going on in our apartment. I have to admit that I might have been remaining intentionally ignorant of the finer points of the Japanese anime TV show "Dragonball Z."  I suppose that I have been fortunate that my sons have never consistently watched it, as I find the histrionic tone very hard to appreciate...or even tune out.

But now we have a Dragonball Z video game and I can remain ignorant no longer.  Apparently heroes of the series are able to gather and shoot energy from their bodies... akin to the "Force Push" or "Force Lightning" in the Star Wars universe, or the "Fus Roh Dah!" of Skyrim. This particular sort of energy blast is named for the Hawaiian Kamehameah line of kings. I am not sure why, and unfortunately, do not have any further time to sort this out.

I will add that I had not made the connection previously between the shouting that my kids were doing and the Hawaiian royalty, because, as I now discover thanks to the magic of the internet, I had been pronouncing "Kamehameha" wrong for decades.

Yet another educational napkin...for me, anyway.

Sloth Sith Holding Double Lightsaber

Speed matters not.

Star Wars and sloths continue to be hot topics at our house.
Really.

Our younger son is still working on his Sloth report at school. And last weekend we saw the vastly overpriced, but very gratifying for the kids, "Star Wars and the Power of Costume: The Exhibition" at the Times Square Discovery Center.

I had failed to draw a sloth holding a lightsaber on a previous napkin, so I had to remedy that oversight soon.

This was a late night slap-dash effort, done mostly with those nice toxic Xylene markers. I have tried to shift over to alcohol based markers as they are refillable and less of a health hazard.  But there are certain effects that are exclusive to the more solvent-y xylene markers... and that lovely intense purple does not seem to be available in the less toxic brands. I also have a nostalgic fondness for stinky art markers from watching (and smelling) my father use them for product design illustrations back in my early childhood. Or maybe I just like toxic materials. I spent almost two decades casting sculpture in polyester resin. Since becoming a parent, I have really made an effort to not wallow in solvents quite so often.  But this has absolutely nothing to do with Sloths or Star Wars.

Internet memes involving sloths seem to have peaked back in 2013, but they are definitely still around, including the truly awful "rape sloth" (I am not going to include a link to that one since my older son reads this blog: Hi Honey! please skip googling that one!) There is also the "astronaut sloth,"  and the more recent and unfortunately named "Slittens."

Another widely distributed internet sloth meme conveys the statement that sloths often fall out of trees because they mistake their own arms for tree branches.  While I do not have any firsthand information to contribute to this topic, it appears that the source of the sloth ineptitude rumor is actually just one comment in the satirical writing of Douglas Adams.

So....don't believe everything you see online: Sloths don't make rape threats or fall from trees because they cannot distinguish their own limbs from branches.

Sadly, nor do they wield double lightsabers.

Cybil, the Homicidal Feline from Liō Comic, With Nerf Blaster

Killer Kitties agree, "It's Nerf, or nothing."

Our younger son was recently reminded how much he likes the cat in Mark Tatulli's Liō Comic. We were revisiting a previous Cybil napkin that is included in the show "Popular Monsters" at LIU.

While small, cute, furry things with weapons are always popular with our sons, I had not appreciated just how much the younger son liked this particular cat. In the comic, she is constantly up to no good, threatening the veterinarian with a hypodermic, wielding a grenade, various guns, or a chainsaw while wearing a hockey mask.

In this image, I was trying to top her previous napkin appearance where she was holding an axe. I considered arming her with some sort of a gatling gun (a favorite image at our house thanks perhaps to Axe Cop), but decided to draw a less dangerous Nerf weapon instead. I chose the Nerf Elite Vulcan / Havok Fire Blaster which might be the pinnacle of ridiculous foam dart weapons. It appears to retail on Amazon for the notable price of $450. I drew it in monochrome rather than the standard Nerf N-strike colors of bright orange and yellow for a slightly more menacing effect.

But if anyone is asking, it's a toy gun.  Cybil could no doubt do plenty of damage with just foam darts anyway.

Feline Robin From "Fire Emblem"

Stylish Medieval Feline Intersexual:
Cat Cosplay #2

While Mario was the obvious next choice for cat video game character cosplay, our younger son requested this character from the Nintendo series Fire Emblem instead. I know almost nothing about this game, but Wikipedia tells me that "The Fire Emblem series is known for its innovation and for being one of the first Eastern style tactical role-playing games, with a strong emphasis on Western forms of medieval fantasy."

The kids made this character's acquaintance through "Super Smash Bros," a melee style game that uses Nintendo characters drawn from the company's entire history. I don't think they know much about Robin besides the fact that he or she wears some cool clothes and has an impressive sword. There has been a long running debate at our house about whether Robin is male or female.  Having done 90 seconds of research last night, I was finally able to resolve the question: In Fire Emblem, Robin can be played as male or female. The main difference in the character's appearance seems to be hair length.

Since the cat doesn't have a human haircut, I guess s/he can go either way.

Feline Link

Kitty Cosplay #1:
Could it have cross gender appeal for 8 year olds?

My younger son has apparently not been receiving much positive feedback about his napkins from his peers at school. He particularly values the opinion of a couple of video game obsessed boys and one diffident member of the opposite sex.

We discussed this conundrum last night: how could we simultaneously impress the cool boys and gain the attention of the attractive girl who is not particularly moved by video games, or, more unfortunately, by my son? The rigid gender roles of the second grade universe don't seem to allow for much overlap.

After a few minutes of brainstorming with his older brother, the only obvious solution we could come up with was cute cats dressed as video game characters.

It seemed clear that Link should be a blondish, pointy-eared cat.  I suppose I should give some thought as to what sort of cat could be dressed as Mario.

Ninja Viking Kitten in a Mech Suit

Random Mash-up: Cute and Furry with Weapons.

Yesterday's Dinosaur/Astronaut/Pirate combination led to a discussion of other compelling aggregates: (Mutant, Viking, Dinosaur, Samurai, Super Soldier, Cyborg, Vampire, Zombie, Cowboy, Cannibalistic, Werewolf Aliens anyone?)

I selected a couple categories at random...(well, maybe not entirely at random, I had decided that I didn't want to draw any zombies, vampires, or mutants)....

....And then I added "Kitten."

I'll admit the Viking and Ninja components are rather thinly represented, and the suit looks much more Storm Trooperish than I had in mind, but amazingly enough, Ansel looked at it this morning and said, "Nice."

Karate Unicorn

The kids were very taken with "101 Ways to Kill a Zombie" by Robb Perlman, with humorous illustrations by Dave Urban. The book features a skewering-by-unicorn-horn right on the cover, in addition to other virtuoso demises by things like "hot dog eating contest," "password reset," or "Axe Body Spray."

Ansel was inspired to describe another character for our still mostly nonexistent family webcomic: The Karate Unicorn.  

While the idea in its pure form was pretty amusing, and I'm sure Dave Urban could have run with it successfully, I had trouble coming up with a good image...well, a good image that could be pulled out of a lunchbox at a 2nd grade Quaker school anyway. 

I asked Ansel, "If a human demonstration of karate involved breaking boards, what does a unicorn break?" He provided the obvious answer: "Zombies." While the idea of a unicorn cleaving a stack of the undead in half was potentially funny, it seemed a bit much for lunch with 7 year olds. A stack of rainbow colored boards, however, was definitely not an inspired solution.

I was also unnecessarily distracted by the issue of anatomically correct horse drawing. Afflicted in my youth by a particularly acute case of preadolescent female equine obsession, I spent many years perfecting my drawing of various horse body parts. I recall making several drawings of unicorns also...and I fear there were more than I can now remember...

At any rate, last night I suddenly felt a bizarre compulsion to try to draw this horselike thing in an accurate and sophisticated way. My subsequent failure at equine draftsman grandstanding certainly did nothing to help the humor of the image. And I added a indeterminate purplish background.  My excuse was that if you google "unicorn," you do see a remarkable amount of purple...skies, mountains, water, haze, etc.

Unfortunately the results here are not particularly ironic or otherwise funny. Instead it looks frighteningly like something I might have drawn while I was a horse obsessed tween.....Sorry Ansel.

(Meanwhile, we are eagerly awaiting the sequel, "101 Ways to Use a Unicorn")

Wolverine Sea Otter

I warned my son last night that he might have to take one of the napkins from the "bank" today. We always have a stack of 10-20 previously rejected napkins to choose from.  I was feeling more tired than usual and couldn't think of anything interesting to draw.

He said, "Oh, just draw a Sea Otter with Wolverine claws. That will be easy!"

Well, it was easier than trying to draw Hugh Jackman.

Paddington Bear with Star Wars: The Force Awakens Light Saber

Movie trailers we are excited about: the delights of earwax and novel weapons

My younger son reminded me yesterday that he really wanted to see the movie about the bear and the toilet.  I am shamefully sleep deprived most of the time, so sometimes important things do go missing from my memory.  It took me several minutes to dredge up anything regarding a bear and toilet.  But yes, I did finally recall that we had seen the trailer for "Paddington" and that the bear did in fact put his head in a toilet.  He also put toothbrushes in his ears, tasted the resultant earwax, drank mouthwash, flooded a house, and most endearingly, rode an escalator holding a small dog.

How could we not pay money to see more of that?

Likewise, there is no way that we will  possibly be excused from seeing the next "Star Wars" installment. The new lightsaber was of course the highlight of that recently released  trailer as far as our sons were concerned. It is amazing how much excitement a couple of implausible horizontal protrusions can generate. (Here's a link if you are my mom or might have somehow managed to avoid seeing it already) 

Sea Otter with Sonic Screwdriver

I wonder how much overlap there is between the "fandoms" of Doctor Who and Sea Otters?

Eager to share his trove of Sea Otter knowledge, Ansel was telling us yesterday about how they use stones to  hammer shells off undersea rocks and open up oysters and abalones. They are some of the few tool using mammals, and the only marine mammals besides dolphins.

Since these Otters can use tools, I thought, why not provide the ultimate tool?  Maybe the problem was that Ansel did not give me a request last night, and I was deluding myself that the green glow of the sonic screwdriver reflected off the water was going to be fun to draw?

When I showed the napkin to Ansel this morning, he rolled his eyes and said, "That will do."
Not a very successful crossover, apparently.

Raccoons Rocket and Rigby

What do talking raccoons do for fun?

Rocket Raccoon from "Guardians of the Galaxy" makes a proposal to Rigby from the "Regular Show."

Our sons enjoy these two characters far too much.

Wicket Winter Soldier

Ansel spent some quality time over the weekend making little Ewok figures representing himself and all of his friends. I cannot remember what brought up the Winter Soldier recently... But he is always cool as far as the kids are concerned.

Archer looked at the drawing this morning and said, "What happened, did Wicket eat Bucky?"

Fainting Goat

I had lived my entire life in ignorance of the phenomenon of fainting goats until yesterday.  Thank goodness, my sons were able to show me a youtube video in order to fill me in.

I have my suspicions that this is a situation like the videos of Slow Lorises being tickled.  The goats involved don't seem particularly troubled, although I doubt that they find the problem all that funny.

After 90 seconds of extremely casual research, it seems that there is no actual fainting going on, just intense stiffening of the leg muscles when the goat 'experiences panic." Sounds fun, doesn't it?  Obviously this condition, know as myotonia for those who need to know, would not work well in the wild, and has at least been enabled by domestication.

This fall semester I teach on Wednesdays, so the kids actually go three hours after school without my services as transporter, waiter, tutor, masseuse and personal assistant. Thus, I missed the genesis of their interest in fainting goats yesterday afternoon.  I think it may have had something to do with a game titled "Goat Simulator" (a tagline; "You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat") but I cannot say for sure.

I am definitely not fantasizing about being this goat.

Dormouse in Power Loader from "Aliens"

Remember what the Dormouse said:
...was it, "They mostly come out at night, mostly"?...or "Get away from her, you bitch"?

Ansel's interest in things small, cute and furry was focused on the Dormouse this last week.  He was reading "A Bed for the Winter," which according to Amazon is " the harrowing story of a little dormouse and his frantic search for a safe place to hibernate." He was also wondering if Dormice make good pets.  (probably not)

Everyone in our household seems a bit under the weather lately. Today we were introduced to the nifty term "viral torticollis" to explain why one child's head is on sideways and he can't bear to go to school.  I am definitely suffering from some back-to-school-virus related dementia myself, so this is probably not one of my better efforts in terms of concept or execution. 

I thought maybe since the Dormouse is always trying to avoid being another animal's dinner, perhaps he or she could use some technological assistance.  I was originally planning to come up with some sort of Dormouse appropriate mech suit, but decided to take the easy way out and borrow Ripley's backlit power loader from "Aliens."

Just for the record, Ansel has not seen the movie, but he thought this was cool enough anyway.

(And this one prompted me to add a new label category "Small Furry Things with Weapons" as that does seems a rather popular category here.)

Fluffy The Hamster in Tom Cruise's "Edge of Tomorrow" Mech Suit

I haven't paid much attention to the class hamster these last few weeks.  I am pretty sure she is still around.  After we hosted her for the winter vacation, I hoped that she would at least stay healthy and active long enough afterward that there would be no claims of hamster negligence or abuse on our part. 

While Ansel has not been thinking much about Fluffy either recently, he was much happier to see her in the mech suit than my previous crappy drawing of him.

If Fluffy can be Daniel Craig and Ben Stiller, then why not Mr. Cruise?

You can see all of the Fluffy napkins here.

Hamster Falcon for "Winter Soldier"

The kids have been watching the previews for the upcoming Captain America movie fairly attentively.  But I think they were so distracted by the Winter Soldier character that they missed the presence of Falcon in the trailers.

We had the honor of hosting the famous class pet Fluffy the hamster for the duration of the school break, so it seemed like another rodent cosplay napkin was needed.

You might think that I could have gotten some better reference materials for this hamster while it was living in my house for two weeks, but it proved almost impossible to get a good photograph of her dark quivery little body. 

Boys with hamster blur attempting escape

Kitty Shooter with Chainsaw Gun

We are still on vacation for school for another week, so this is definitely a not-for-Quaker-lunch napkin. The "kitty sniper" was supposedly the kids' all time favorite image last year, so this is an even more inappropriate version.  The chainsaw gun is inspired by "Gears of War" 

Hamster in "Ender's Game" War Room

Despite the kids' initial protests, we watched "Ender's Game" over the weekend. 

The futuristic kid-centric violence of course completely won them over.  Archer declared that he was "pretty much jealous" of Ender as his education involved video games and was all about combat...And he gets to destroy an entire planet, after all.  The difficulties of the character's situation were of less concern.  I did not bother to point out that poor Ender probably had to study math and science also and did not have the benefit of LEGOs, pizza, or well... family support.

I thought we were done with Fluffy, Ansel's class hamster, but he requested the rodent be portrayed in the war room from the movie.

Hamster as Hawkeye in "The Avengers"

Although he was vociferously against seeing "The Avengers" again, the movie won our younger son over pretty quickly because of Hawkeye.  Afterwards, there was a great deal of pretend shooting of things in  the living room with a bow that once fired mini marshmallows before being broken long ago.

We hadn't done a "secret life of Fluffy the first grade pet hamster" napkin in quite a while, so I cast her as Hawkeye in the scene where he theatrically leaps off a midtown roof while shooting a grappling hook into the side of the building.

Strangely enough, I find the ridiculously implausible antics of the likes of Thor and the Hulk to be less distracting than the violations of the laws of physics committed by the "normal" physical specimens like Hawkeye and the Black Widow.

This morning, Ansel seemed slightly annoyed that I had sullied Hawkeye's coolness by turning him into a female rodent.

Titanfall Style Mech with Canine Pilot

A "Mature" rated game featuring giant mech suits that costs $60 and has not even been released yet: What could possibly be more compelling for 11 and 7 year old boys? (Titanfall link)

My rendition of the mech is approximate at best, as drawing this sort of thing is harder than rendering Hero Factory LEGO creations even.  I replaced the human pilot with a dog as a small concession to the younger child.