Jake The Predator and Finn the Assassin From Adventure Time

We've been reading "Adventure Time: Volume 2." The TV show is one of my sons' favorites...except when an episode is "too much about love."

The bros cosplay here as the boys' other favorites: a Predator and Connor from Assassin's Creed 3... who are definitely not too much about love.

Gryphon Ewok

We seem to still be on the topic of Ewoks around here.
And an ewok costume on a cute, sarcastic, talking dog... well... that's practically a can't miss.

In case you are over 12, or not the parent of a child who watches too much Cartoon Network programming, the dog in question belongs to (and is voiced by) Toby Turner formerly of Youtube "Tobuscus" fame, presently also of Cartoon Network interstitial programming fame.  Toby and Gryphon engage in brief snarky inter-species banter between shows.  

My sons may be dog- deprived, but they are definitely not sarcasm deprived.

Ewok Dressed as Connor From Assassin's Creed 3

Fluffy and cute...but deadly never looses its charm for our sons.

Reminded by his reading of Jeffrey Brown's "Star Wars: Jedi Academy" just how cute Ewoks are, Ansel asked for one done up as Connor from Assassin's Creed.

Archer insisted that there should be an Ewok Predator also on the same napkin, but I just could not manage the two of them last night.

Cyrus From "Star Wars: Jedi Academy"

After a previous three years-long obsession, our sons now claim to be completely over the Star Wars franchise... (unless we are talking about video games of course.)

Jeffrey Brown's "Star Wars: Jedi Academy" somehow managed to get around their usual prejudice against things Star Wars.  The story of a Luke Skywalker-like underachiever who attends a Jedi Academy that is very similar to an American middle school is inventively told in a mixture of comics, journals and clippings.  The story and format appealed to both our six and ten year old sons.

Of course, what Ansel liked best, and wanted on his napkin, was the ominously hooded bully in the book, a junior Darth Maul named Cyrus.

Nanny McPhee and Uncle Grandpa Compare Notes and Orthodontic Histories

Trapped indoors on Sunday afternoon while we tried to determine whether he was coming down with a cold or not, Ansel sat through part of a "Nanny McPhee" movie fairly happily.  His older brother was in another room, so Ansel was able to watch a story that had some dialogue, plot, female characters... and not too many weapons, without suffering fraternal derision.  Archer did join Ansel for a few moments here and there... long enough to comment, "Nanny McPhee is a bit of an asshole."  Well, yes, she was a little hard on those misbehaving children....

Uncle Grandpa indulges in some magic abuse of a wayward child himself in the latest episode of his show (Emperor vs Emperor) as he turns the disobedient kid into a monster with a mayonnaise spatula for a hand.

Needless to say, our boys prefer the cartoon guy with the beanie to the British lady with the moles.  I try to keep my feelings about such things to myself as I noticed long ago that the more I express my dislike for something, the more compelling it is for my sons.

And after Archer's obsession with "The Doodlebops" back in 2006.... let's just say, I had to become much more aesthetically and conceptually flexible... or kill myself.  (Here's a Doodlebop link if you don't know what I mean and are a glutton for punishment)  And there is something to be said for kids' shows that are written for stoned adults.  They are less sanctimonious.

The presence of Nanny McPhee made Ansel hate this napkin.  I suspected as much, but somehow could not restrain myself from pairing the two snaggletoothed magic adults.

Wonder Woman Birthday Cake

Taking a break from drawing on napkins for the weekend, I had a rare opportunity to squirt excessive frosting on to a cake for an adult birthday.  The underlying carrot cake was professionally produced by someone else, and arrived immaculately coated in pristine cream cheese frosting...very, very, soft cream cheese frosting.

As I had to refrain from touching the surface of the cake, it was an all squirting exercise... leading to a outsider-ish corduroy face quality.  It was supposed to be a portrait of the napkin recipients' very sun tanned aunt as Wonder Woman for her 50th, but the resemblance to the aunt or the super heroine was approximate at best. I botched the lettering as well....

But it did have a lot of frosting!
And the cake underneath tasted pretty good.

Camera lens distortion makes for a super chest view in the image above.

Rayburn and Timmy from "Monster on the Hill"

Rayburn the monster and Timmy the plucky urchin from Rob Harrell's book "Monster on the Hill":

At some point in the story, the kid gets accidentally turned into a "shmushroom." Broccoli probably wouldn't help, but the remedy offered in the book: "psychofruit juice" was not available in Ansel's lunch today.

Ansel really  liked this book about a depressed monster with self esteem problems.  He was quite annoyed when his older brother, who gets to stay up a bit later than he does, was able to finish the story before him.

I did read the ending to him early the next morning.

Pikachu Rides Skateboard

Pikachu continues to compel Ansel as you can see by his school self portrait below.
Mercifully, the startling cries of "Pika! Pika!" are more infrequent this week.

I drew this one rather distractedly last night while watching Star Trek: Into Darkness on pay per view.  
Predictably, the low effort blob on an indeterminate background is Ansel's most favorite napkin in recent memory.  He actually said, "Mom, that is so awesome!" this morning. 

The Pikachu frame was entirely his invention according to his teacher.
But also take a look at the attitude on this six year old person.

Despicable Me Minion With Pikachu

We have less emphasis on violence for today.

I don't know how me missed the obvious combination of yellowness and excessive cuteness before.

Axe Cop And Connor From Assassin's Creed III

Axes for Peace:  Axe Cop and Connor from Assassin's Creed III support nonviolent conflict resolution for Quaker lunch:

Ansel wanted these two guys on the napkins complete with their axe/tomahawk.  This was not exactly Quaker First Grade lunch material, so I moved the weapons to the edge of the image and ladled the peace rhetoric on really thick.  Archer said, "Oh come on! No one actually says that stuff at school!" 

Ansel had requested that they should both be saying, "I'll chop your head off!"... (Although, perhaps not to one another- He did not specify)

I am pretty sure that saying that sort of thing is not encouraged at school.

Axe Cop with Ares and Pallo From Lions, Tigers and Bears

Today Axe Cop teams up w.ith Ansel's two favorites from "Lions, Tigers & Bears" by Mike Bullock and Jack Lawrence. Ares and Pallo are part of the Night Pride- stuffed animals who morph into real powerful cats in order to protect children

Axe Cop is wearing his nightime cat suit of course.

Minecraft Pikachu and Alien

Our older son is quite an authority on Minecraft...particularly considering he has not had an opportunity to play the game himself.  He has watched enough online videos of other people playing and discussing the game that I should probably have my parenting license revoked.  (If only there were such a thing as a parenting license...)

The younger brother is not so interested in Minecraft, but he is definitely interested in all the various incarnations of Pikachu.

I have been told that I made Pikachu's thunderbolt the wrong color- it should have been entirely yellow.  I don't know how I could have made such a mistake.  

I know that the lack of  authetic Minecraft detail, however, was just laziness.

Scary Pink Fluffy Unicorn Dancing on Rainbows

 
A friend introduced my older son to a Youtube video called "Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows."  You can see it here, but don't say that you were not warned...

This tune, and an attendant form of idiocy, became lodged in my children's and my brain.  Apparently we are not alone. There are ten hour versions of the video available online.

I can't really figure out the precise origins of this particular internet meme in the five minutes that I have allotted to write this blog post.  Perhaps this is a good thing.  The song seems to have been composed by a young man named Andrew Huang (over 4 million views on Youtube just for his video of this song) and may or may not have originally had anything to do with "My Little Pony" or "Dan Vs" (Dan is the gun wielding man wearing the "JERK" t-shirt in the video...if you made it that far)

I thought maybe an anti-cute pinkish unicorn rainbow thing would help evict this meme from all of our minds... Well, no, perhaps I didn't really think that was going to work.

I drew this between 1 am and 1:24 am this morning after I had spent several hours filling out mortgage application paperwork, so perhaps I was not truly responsible for my own actions.

Unsurprisingly, when I showed the napkin to him this morning, Ansel's response was a long bug-eyed silence.

Izzy with Assassin's Creed 4's Edward Kenway

Our younger son continues to be abjectly dog-deprived, so whenever we visit with an even slightly affable canine, Ansel immediately "misses" him or her afterward. The dog he is missing most recently is Izzy who belongs to some  friends out on Long Island.  Izzy allowed Ansel to pick her up, sort of, earning a place in the napkin hall of fame.

Here she is hanging out with the remorseless killer from Assassin's Creed 4...because...maybe because I am tired of drawing Connor from Assassin's Creed 3?

And Edward doesn't carry his weapons on his back.

Predator and Alien At The Beach

One for the end of summer:  The Predator and the Alien play nice at the beach.

We do like cute monsters.

Electric Pikachu With Boy

We've experienced a notable and unexplained return of interest in Pikachu recently.  I think it is mostly about shrieking "Pika!' repeatedly and loudly around unsuspecting adults.

I guess Pikachu was supposed to look "realistic," but clearly I was incapable of rendering such a thing... perhaps I was also incapable of even conceiving of a realistic Pokemon.

Ansel has been cuddling with one of our several stuffed versions, so I was inspired to include him on the napkin. 

Bad idea of course:  "I am never taking THAT to school!' he told me.  

His coloring of my sketch indicates pretty clearly how he felt about my drawing of his face.

Cute Assassin's Creed III Connor Naps With A Predator

Our kids are still fixated on characters from video games that they are too young to play. They obviously enjoy the age inappropriate malice and power of characters like Connor, but that doesn't mean that they can't be improved by insipid cuteness.  

The official request from Archer was that I draw "chibi" versions of the two.  He meant in the manga sense of the word, but I ended up making them look more like "real" children (whatever real might mean in this context....). If you're justifiably wondering what "chibi" means, take a look at the Wikipedia article

Napkin Not For A Lunchbox #20

One more from the 24 hours of dysfunctional parenting series based on a day from February of this year:

This one is for about 10 am, when, having successfully dropped both kids off at school, I waste precious work time running dopey errands on the way home. Stopping at some dismal chain store (we have them now in Williamsburg) to buy something necessary like shampoo, I end up spending far too much time contemplating idiotic purchases like kids' toothbrushes that play music.

P.S. The overpriced, polluting, and completely ridiculous toothbrushes were a huge hit (particularly the one that played the Queen song) and did seem to lessen the amount of nagging necessary to make toothbrushing happen. 

But I'm still ashamed of myself for buying them....those and the remote control tarantula that I bought at the same Duane Reade.

You can see the whole series so far at this link.