Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Velociraptor with Nerf Guns
Yes, of course, our sons loved "Jurassic World."
(And, now words I have never imagined myself typing: "Spoiler Alert"...and while I am at it: "Cranky Mother Alert)
To continue: How could they not love it? Dinosaurs, guns, imperiled audience-surrogate boy moppets, Chris Pratt being manly....What was there not to like?
The stroll home from the theater was a nice opportunity to discuss gender politics. "Why do you suppose that lady was wearing such ridiculous shoes in the jungle?" Or "Why do you think the pretty babysitter met the most dramatic and awful death in the whole movie?"
I know I sound like a total killjoy when I say that I often feel like Hollywood is helping me raise a pair of budding misogynists. But ideally one should be able to take unbridled pleasure in watching Chris Pratt being a "total badass," riding motorcycles with Velociraptors, without needing an uptight, clueless, (yet very attractive woman) to be his foil/girlfriend/conquest.
But perhaps I should not worry about the behavior of "Jurassic World"s humans too much. They really are a secondary concern. The dinosaurs are certainly delivered in spectacular fashion. The movie employs a time-tested sequel formula: the big bads of the previous outing are enlisted as allies to defeat the new, even bigger, baddies. Although, it was perhaps a little bit unclear why the dinosaurs did not eat the appetizing two-legged pink snacks who were conveniently still standing around at the end of the big battle....
But we left the theater with our enthusiasm for Velociraptors greatly increased. Today's napkin image derives from a "How it Should Have Ended" spoof video for "Jurassic Park," in which the Velociraptors are so intelligent that they talk and use guns. I convinced Ansel that we should give the Raptor Nerf weapons in place of the real guns as a less violent option.
....And, because you would totally want to shoot Nerf guns with your pet Raptor.