DeadPooh and Cable Too

Consider yourself pounced.

Having sat through the “Christopher Robin” movie preview a couple of times now, listening to Ewan McGregor say, “POOH!” repeatedly....well, it seemed like we had to have a DeadPooh.

I was thinking about pairing him with Spider-Tigger-Man, or maybe Wolverine/Tigger, (too much claw similarity) but our younger son thought Cable was a better bet. 

Perhaps I was just trying to avoid the additional labor of figuring out what Cable was wearing in Deadpool 2 and exactly what his arm looked like.

As it was, I neglected to draw the stuffed bear on his belt...but perhaps that would have been redundant...or meta?

Deadpool Goes Full Winnie The Pooh

Deadpool Goes Full Winnie the Pooh

Amid the avalanche of pop culture references in Deadpool 2, there is a memorable one to the honey loving denizen of the hundred acre wood.

The reference comes up after Deadpool has been torn in half and is home regrowing his lower body as a pair of toddler legs with adjacent little kid anatomy.  Like the name checked bear, Wade is only wearing a shirt.  And there is also a “Basic Instinct” reference. I’ll leave it there.

Yes, so very inappropriate for family viewing.  That was the point of course.

But I find the display of male body parts in a mainstream movie in a non sexual (and non violent) context to be not entirely a bad thing. 

I realize this may not be a popular sentiment. There is a thicket of gender issues here that I will resist wading into today. But suffice it to say, while the Deadpool film franchise certainly prides itself on boundary pushing, it troubles me less than most R rated action movies as it is not so steeped in misogynistic imagery.

For the napkin, of course the pants had to be on, so the Pooh reference had to be shifted a bit....but the DeadPooh possibilities are there... My kids were not big Winnie the Pooh fans back in the day. (They preferred Curious George)

But, like most small children, they did enjoy reclining on the couch without pants. 

Mercenary/ Furry Acroyogo

Aspirational Yoga: Wade and Cuddle Team Leader get their namaste on. (Characters our kids have been deprived of do some acroyoga that we are not capable of)

Deadpool 2 opened and somehow we haven’t seen it yet. I haven’t figured out how I am going to fast forward through the parts inappropriate for an 11 year old in the theater.

And, curmudgeon that I am, I refused to give my older son $20 to purchase the Cuddle Team Leader skin in Fortnite.

But I drew this napkin. 

Because every mother wants provide her sons with an picture of an amoral violent superhero and a sexy furry...?

Freddy Teddies

Freddy Teddy Spermaceti and Freddy Teddy Mario Andretti 
 
To be more specific: Freddy Krueger from "Nightmare on Elm Street," on top of Theodore Roosevelt, on top of a Sperm Whale, next to Freddy Fazbear the murderous animatronic bear from the "Five Nights at Freddy's" videogame, on top of a generic teddy bear, on top of the lower body of the world champion race car driver, Mr. Andretti.

The chances that the same person would both know who Mario Andretti is, and be familiar with the killer animatronics in Five Nights at Freddy's are probably slim to none. Unless you are an aging person who grew up in the 70's and then had kids later in life who are now obsessed with video games. Or maybe if you are the grandparent of those kids. Hi Mom!

My apologies to everyone else for the obscure noun choices. 
And then there's the Sperm Whale.... Technically, spermaceti is the waxy material in the whale's head that used to be harvested for oil. I don't think the whales are really known as "Spermaceti Whales," but Google does respond to that input. I really wanted the last term to be "Spiral Jetty," the famous earthwork constructed in 1970 by Robert Smithson (it's a fact rarely displayed on this blog, but I do have a graduate degree in fine art which is really paying off at times like this!) I just couldn't make the Jetty work visually as a lower body in the context of another Freddy Teddy with human legs.

Probably unfortunately, I haven't given up on using it in another context... I've still got Betty, Machete, Giacometti... and of course SETI, to work with.

(See the other PuppyMonkeyBaby drawings at this link)

Huggable Army

Excessive Depiction of Video Game Characters:

Today is the last day of camp, so we have two final indulgent napkins. My younger son requested that I draw ALL of the the Huggables from Battle Bears.  There are considerably more than you see here... I missed the one wearing the ugly Christmas sweater and the one wearing a pleather bondage mask as well as the many color variations.

Generally speaking, the kids are most pleased when I draw something that looks just like the video game.  My son was very happy with the quantity of characters here that I more or less copied straight from the source.

So happy in fact, that he was willing to overlook the fact that I had drawn him in the middle.

Nyan Cat, Big Sister, Big Daddy, and Coco Loco Huggable for the Last Day of Camp

Too many characters assemble for the last day of camp.

After his brother asked for the "Huggable Army," my older son had to request multiple characters himself just to keep up.  I used to have a rule that I would draw no more than one or two characters per napkin....There was a good reason for that rule....

But it was the last day of camp, so I did my best to indulge.

If you are wondering about that pop-tart cart with the rainbow up at the top: Nyan Cat's
video (link to the original video) was one of the top five most viewed videos of 2011.  It has the insipidly cute- adult infuriating quality that our older son loves. 

Battle Bears Coco Loco Huggable

Any picture can be improved by adding a cool explosion.

My older son told me yesterday, "please no more Star Wars and dinosaurs napkins!"  He said, "I know they are good drawings, but I don't want any more!" I did note the compliment buried in there. But I am aware that the kids are always happier when I draw cartoon characters exactly the way that they look on the TV show or the video game.

The "Coco Loco" is one of the Battle Bears "skins" for the Huggable. I drew it just the way it looks on the Battle Bears Wiki.

I did nonetheless indulge in some creative license with the background explosion.

Huggable Hugs the Bear from "Total Drama Island"

Some Total Bear-on-Bear Action:

Our younger son has been watching the TV show "Total Drama Island" and its various iterations.  The Total Drama franchise is an animated parody of "Survivor" where a group of superficial fame seekers are tortured by a smarmy host while they struggle to not be voted off of the island.

I have to admit that my feelings about an 8 year old watching the show are mostly not positive.  It is a show about conniving adults and the nasty things they do to one another regarding sex, money and other body functions. The show's Wikipedia entry, however, notes that it was a very popular when it was first released, and that, "Many of the fans viewed the show as one of the best cartoons of its time."

Total Drama has a reoccuring bear character.  Our kids often exclaim over his cuteness, which perplexes me.

My son was very pleased with this napkin because I made it look just like the cartoony bear on the show....None of that nasty creative license that I sometimes indulge in on these napkins.

Battle Bears Huggable with Rainbow

Watch out for headless pink teddy bears:

Apparently the Huggables in Battle Bears Gold can remove their heads and blast their foes with rainbow power. 

I am not clear on the details.

Huggable from "Battle Bears" with the Empire State Building

The kids are pretty excited about the upcoming movie "Pixels" where aliens attack earth using giant video games from the 1980's.

It seemed only fair to render some of their favorite video games on a colossal scale. 
The "huggables"- as far as I understand it- are the nemesis of "Battle Bears," and their hugs are lethal.

I suggested that the bear should be going in for the clinch with the Statue of Liberty, but my older son thought that would be too unpatriotic.  I explained that the potential death toll would be far lower than that of the Empire State Building.  He was unconvinced.  I guess the Empire State is a more appropriate choice when it comes to giant monsters.

I'll admit, I was just trying to avoid having to draw the building and the cityscape around it.

Bear Hug with Teddy Bear

"You sleep with a little stuffed version of yourself?"
Or: Cute and funny meets realistic, and realistic does not prevail.

Our younger son desperately wants a pet.  Our older son, however,  is pretty clear that if he were confronted with the choice between playing a video game or dealing with a real animal, the video game would win every time.

Nevertheless, they are in agreement in their appreciation of animal cuteness.  They spent the weekend repeatedly calling up the insipid Youtube video of "Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom" (by Parry Gripp of "Nerf Herder." Glutton for punishment, are you? Here is a link to the video)  The video features clips of mostly small and furry animals eating, accompanied by an incessant, and incessantly annoying, soundtrack of Nom Nom Nom Noms.

I considered drawing a baby animal gnawing something for today's napkin, but decided that minus the soundtrack, the image would not achieve the appropriate level of precious hilarity.

But, let's be honest, the real problem is the way I draw.

In place of one of the Nom Noms, I drew a bear like Wink, a character from the kids' preferred comic of the moment, Rob Harrell's "Big Top. I thought the fact that Wink sleeps with a stuffed version of himself (available at the circus concession, of course) would provide a cute animal opportunity.

The kids were unimpressed this morning. Archer helpfully pointed out that my version was too realistic. Ansel took a napkin from the backup pile.

Sea Otter with Teddy Bear

Continuing to work on his 2nd grade research paper on Sea Otters, Ansel told me that people call them "The Teddy Bears of the sea."

In a sleep deprived haze last night, I debated the visual possibilities of that statement:  Teddy bears swimming in the ocean (surfing! scuba diving!) or Sea Otters reclining indoors on beds or having tea parties.  The options seemed mostly too insipid. 

In the end, as usual, I took the path of least resistance and just put the two together. Speaking of insipidity, I feel like I have seen a lot of images online of animals snuggling with teddy bears.  "Rat with teddy bear" autofills on Google above even "rat with tumor." There are endless images of dogs and cats clutching plushes. We like our online animals cute, and even better, cuddling an unrealistic stuffed animal. 

And speaking of unrealistic, Ansel mentioned several times how great it would be to have a sea otter as a pet....If only we had  room for an animal that is 4 to 5 feet long and between 70 and 90 pounds, plus a large salt water pool well stocked with tasty benthic invertebrates.

The Sea Otter on today's napkin is definitely not snuggling his teddy, and seems mostly annoyed by the lack of realism in the situation.

Rudolph the Reindeer with Teddy the Bear

My nose is so bright I gotta wear shades: Teddy and Rudolph herald the slippery slope from Hanukkah to Christmas:

Our younger son had some regularly scheduled, but rather unpleasant, blood work done recently and earned a trip to some sort of retail establishment that his mother would normally prefer to avoid.

 Build-A-Bear is of course already pushing Christmas hard, so we could not avoid acquiring a reindeer with a light-up nose....

And sunglasses.... Because what Rudolph does not need Ray Bans?

Flame Fist Shark and Teddy with Nerf Titan Missile Launcher

The favorite bear at our house this week is a nondescript brown one straightforwardly named "Teddy."

On this napkin, Teddy is armed with a Nerf missile launcher.  Ansel is eagerly awaiting the arrival of this colossally overpriced colossal Nerf weapon named "The Titan."  He bought it with his share of the proceeds from the boys' yard sale last weekend.

Archer's contribution was a character who has flaming boxing gloves... who might as well be a great white shark.  Why not? Right?

The combination of the two was not one of my more successful efforts, but I did manage to put that Nerf contraption in the hands of the stuffed bear, more or less.

Army Camouflage Bear with Cape

I'll admit that a trip to Build-A-Bear Workshop does not fill me with joy.

One of our kids has a condition that requires frequent blood tests with the drawing of multiple vials of blood...and generally children feel that there should be some sort of compensation for that sort of psychic and physical injury. 

I usually offer him the opportunity to go to a place that I would normally avoid at all costs in order  to choose a compensatory item. This often means a trip to the seventh circle of hell, otherwise known as the Times Square Toys R Us... or to Build-A-Bear.

Thus, we have at least a large garbage bag's worth of overpriced bears who can wear over priced clothing and interact with expensive furniture and accessories.  One or the other of the kids will occasionally bond with one of the bears for a few days, and this week, Ansel is focused on a camouflage green bear wearing a Dark Knight cape.

Here he is on a napkin, looking splotchy and vaguely Batman like. 
As you can see, I enjoyed the purple and green thing.

Good Day NY with Superman, Wonder Woman and Bobby from Teen Titans

The napkins- along with the napkin recipients and napkin draw-er appeared on Good Day New York on Fox this morning.  Watch the video here:

I was a little apprehensive about the idea of live TV after the kids' less than enthusiastic response to the CBS camera crew last week, but they definitely rose to the occasion. We were slotted in between two spit polish members of the honor guard demonstrating how to fold the American flag, and several metrosexual men demonstrating how to wear shorts.

The producers has requested that I draw the hosts dressed as Superman and Wonder Woman. My kids wanted a large menacing teddy bear named Bobby from an old Teen Titans episode. Since the kids are in between school and camp today I was able to spend two napkins worth of time trying to get a reasonable likeness of Greg and Rosanna.  Results were poor, but they seemed happy with their super physiques.

I had much more success with Bobby.

Mr. Stuffins with Maimed Robot

 

One more appearance of Mr. Stuffins from a cover by Matt Cossin.  

The boys would really like to see a movie about an animate stuffed bear, but are certainly way too young for "Ted."

The "Going Home Bear" Hangs Out With Batman

Hosting the "Going Home Bear" for an evening is a major Kindergarten event at my sons' school.  Each child has a turn to take the bear along for his afternoon and evening activities, copious documentation by a parent with a camera phone is strongly encouraged.  

Ansel and Archer carefully tucked the bear into his own bed in front of our wood stove, but we imagined that he had an exciting evening out with a poorly drawn Dark Knight.

Garfield and Cupcake for Archer

Is Cupcake moving towards, or recoiling from Garfield.  My money is on the latter, but I am not sure that Archer would agree.

Wind-up Knight and Cupcake for Archer

Wind-up Knight demonstrates that he is cool enough to hang out with Cupcake the stuffed bear in a non-violent fashion.