Case of Drawings

These watercolors are included in the show “or, The New Prometheus” at the Humanities Gallery at Long Island University in Brooklyn opening this week.

These drawings originally hailed from the Inktober project in 2016, and were produced under duress at the rate of one per night. They were mostly on the topic of body and health dysfunction and had tongue in cheek pseudo sciency titles like “Topical Mimesis of Hormetic Stressors”

This was not a popular series of drawings on the Daily Napkins Instagram. As I recall, I managed to scare away at least 200 followers a week during the inktober month. “Where are the Batman Napkins??” Rest assured, there is, in fact, a Batman napkin coming up. 

But for those of you not exclusively interested in Batman...

The show is curated by Nancy Grove and commemorates the 200th anniversary of the publication of Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein...or, the Modern Prometheus” 

It features fine works by Judith Shea, Todd Lambrix, Andy Ralp,  Matt Freedman and Elizabeth Harney.

March 5-30, 2018, opening reception March 8th 6-8 pm.

(And there is more of this sort of drawing at  @the_good_rash on Instagram if you are really a glutton for dysfunctional health watercolor punishment.)

Koalas Wait for Their Train

Fluffy and cute, but not necessarily friendly or motivated.

Another very late watercolor completion of an inktober drawing.

Monster Self

Spontaneous Remission and Adaptation:

Sometimes challenge leads to improvement and adaptation.
And sometimes not.

#inktober2016
#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

This is it, I promise.  This is drawing #31 for inktober 2016, started on October 31st, and full disclosure, finished on November 1st.  Halloween and the days before were rather busy, with costumes to be assembled and trick or treating and such, so I fell behind on posting. I can no longer stay up late at night to finish anything, so here it is November 4th, and I am still finishing up on October.

Just to recap for those of you who have not suffered through the whole month's worth of drawings...
Inktober is a yearly drawing challenge originated by artist and author Jake Parker. The premise is that one tries to complete at least one drawing in ink per day for the entire month of October. Mr. Parker also provided various thematic prompts for each day which I completely ignored.

It seemed like a good excuse to make a bunch of drawings with low expectations. Low expectations are always good.

I did not start out necessarily thinking that I was going to wallow around in my recent personal experiences in health problems and alternative medicine, I planned to make some humorous images of heads based on silly pseudoscientific medical terminology. But pretty quickly it became clear that I could not put rat feet on anyone else's head. And since it was me, it became about me as well.

My apologies to everyone who is here for the napkins. This series is officially over.

Back to regularly scheduled programming.

"Health Journey"

It's not over really until it's really over.

#inktober2016
#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

Many of the people in the "alternative" health and wellness community use the phrase "health journey" when they discuss a story of illness and recovery.  Ideally, this is an empowering narrative, where acquired knowledge leads to a cure, or at least some sort of mastery of the situation.

You want the story to have an ending, and a happy one at that.

I am still relatively new to all of this. I officially became a person with psoriasis at the beginning of the summer. The situation had no doubt been brewing for months, if not years beforehand, but I did not have a nationally recognized specialist examine me and then tell me that I would have psoriasis for the rest of my life until June of this year.

And then while I was still working through accepting my new lifelong need for long sleeves, sunglasses and a tasteful scarf, all the symptoms disappeared. At this point, I don't think my kids even remember that I had the problem. I still have a drawer full of arm sleeves and scarves to remind me, but even so, the visceral memory is fading quickly.

It might seem that I managed to fight off this supposedly incurable disease through a rather extreme regimen of fasting and dietary restriction (and by getting more sleep? and by trying to meditate? etc, etc)....

But who really knows?  That is the story I would like to tell- that through force of will, and against the express advice of medical authorities- although with the kind assistance of several alternative health practicioners- I managed to fix myself.

The last dermatologist I saw told me with absolute certainty that if I did not immediately start taking a potent chemotherapy drug and a heavy dose of topical steroids that the psoriasis was going to spread all over my body and I was going to get a MRSA infection in my eyes. I did fill the prescriptions he gave me, but instead of taking the pills, I went home and didn't eat for a few days. This made no one happy at the time, but after the fast was over, my symptoms were half gone. After a second fast five weeks later, they were almost completely gone.

It could all be a coincidence.
...And my symptoms could come back.

I have spent enough time on the disease specific message boards- the one for the National Psoriasis Foundation emails me a link every day delightfully titled "Team Inspire"- to know that many cure stories have an unfortunate epilogue. A parent dies or another illness appears or some other sort of horribly stressful situation develops and the psoriasis finds a weak spot and returns in full flare.

So, I am not congratulating myself too much.
But it is nice to have a mostly happy ending for the moment.

Catabolism with Debatable Adrenal Fatigue

Sick and tired of being sick and tired?

Or merely just sick and tired?

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

My apologies- I am belatedly finishing up my Inktober posts a day late because I am no longer allowed to stay up late to catch up on anything....And yesterday was Halloween, so there were costumes to assemble, and trick or treating supervision, etc.

But the drawings were all completed in October...well, except the 31st which I finished today.

This is drawing number 29.

I had lots of boring, whiney things to say about it, but I think I am going to skip that for tonight.

Hyperpalatability Without Gluten and Glucose Tolerance

Just because I can't eat it, doesn't mean I can't think about it.

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

Rebiosis with Related Immunologic Stimulants

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

My microbiome has two major inputs, ages 9 and 13. They work hard cultivating their microflora- sampling all available surfaces for exotic species, and scrupulously avoiding the depletion of their biome through hand washing.

And they are always happy to share.

Excessive Fermentation

Remain cautious while pickling at home.

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

Detoxification

Maybe those toxins have better places to be.

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

If only detox really worked like this...

Unresolved Opposing Dietary Philosophies and Macros

Paleo vs. Vegan? 

Neither.

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

While it is reasonably clear that a diet of donuts and potato chips is not a boon to human health, the road gets slippery from there on out. 

I was considering writing a bit about my highly unqualified thoughts on the various qualifications of dietary philosophies...but I just haven't the heart.

I'm haven't eaten many animal products over the last few years, and I haven't consumed any grains, legumes or processed foods over the last few months, but this does not make my diet Vegan or Paleo.

The whole topic and the ferocity with which people debate it makes me want to take a nap.

...Or produce a ridiculous drawing of my head sandwiched between a Bison and a giant pumpkin.


More on the topic of food.  I disliked the following drawing so much that I neglected to post it during Inktober... But in the interest of completism, here is it is with its commentary:

Unsubstantiated Nightshade Sensitivity:

The Sad and Silly End of the Mostly All-Nightshade Diet
Or
Anything Fun on the Menu Probably Has Nightshades in it.

Of the many food categories that I had removed from my diet recently, nightshades seemed like the most obviously troublesome. There is a high correlation between autoimmunity, particularly psoriasis, and problems with nightshades.

There's lots of information out there, some of it plausible, some very unsubstantiated, about the supposedly problematic qualities of this category of plants. I can't say I have an opinion at this point, I am just playing it safe for the time being.

But before my recent health issues, I had never focused on just how much of my daily menu was made of, or at least seasoned with, nightshade vegetables. And this goes beyond the obvious staples of pizza, pasta marinara, french fries and spicy foods.

Over the summer, we had dinner with friends. They had heard that I had some health related dietary restrictions, and kindly prepared a spread of vegetarian options including: grilled eggplant, cherry tomatoes, roasted bell peppers, small potatoes...

As much as I enjoy not having a disgusting rash over a large portion of my face and body, and am happy to go without many foods to remain this way, I must admit that I do miss tomatoes, potatoes, peppers and gogi berries...

Not so much eggplants and tobacco.

Challenged Oral Microbiome

When did I become such a mouth breather?

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

I have consumed a lot of "health and wellness" information somewhat indiscriminately over the last few months. I've read a good many books and listened to a good many podcasts put out by people of various credentials and levels of expertise on topics that did not necessarily relate to my specific concerns. While it is reasonably easy to weed out the ridiculous, it's harder to discern what is the most useful among the non-ridiculous  information.

"The Microbiome" is a hot topic lately, as a potential source of all sorts of disparate problems. Most of the conversation is about the gut.

But the microbiome of the digestive system begins in the mouth. There is less information on this aspect...but theoretically, all the things that we do to clean our mouths- the brushing and scraping and rinsing- might actually be depleting the ecosystem. 

And some say that persistent mouth breathing is also injurious to the biome.

I would not have described myself as a mouth breather, but now that the weather has turned colder, I am finding that I have to constantly remind myself to shut my mouth and use my nose.

Is this really improving my microbiome's health?...hard to say. 

But maybe best not to be a mouth breather anyway.

(On a side note: this image is a definite callback to a photograph I took 14 years ago. At least this time I did not have to shove a small sculpted head covered in oil paint into my mouth- something that was certainly not good for my oral microbiome)

Managed Negative Stress Response

Self protection can be a good thing.

Except when it's not.

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

When my older son was a toddler and experienced frustration or anger while playing with another kid, he would sometimes turn around and whack me. As his primary interface with the world, I was also the place he chose to deal with his negative feelings. Not always pleasant for me, but definitely part of the parenting job description...and also better that he should whack me than whack another child.

12 years and another child later, fortunately no one is hitting me because a toddler took away a toy. However, both kids do still tend to verbally vent their frustrations in my direction. While they are now in my weight class, they're still at a pretty young age when it comes to emotional management. In the throes of intense frustration, they are more than willing to tell me I am the worst mother in the world and that they are going to call Child Protective Services to report me. 

Of course one does not take things personally and express irritation at such comments when one is a responsible, mature, parent person....

Nonetheless, it is sometimes hard to not to get a little stressed, while assisting the stressed child to process his negative emotions.

Protecting oneself from some of the wear and tear while still being open and available to parent is...well, maybe an art and a science.

Poor Implementation of Self Care

Putting other people first is not always a workable solution.

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

For most people, the idea of motherhood is pretty much synonymous with the selfless care of others. I never thought of myself as particularly selfless or maternal before we had our first child. In fact, I would have described myself as mostly self-centered and self-serving...(hopefully in the somewhat positive way that men are allowed to be, but is considered unappealing behavior in people who can gestate and lactate.)

Nonetheless, I have undeniably found certain aspects of caregiving to be very gratifying.

And yet I find some aspects ungratifying. Particularly, now that we are thirteen years in on the parenting project and I find myself still doing many things for kids who really should be doing more for themselves. This is of course all my fault, as I am their parent and should not allow the situation to persist.

Things have improved a bit recently because they had to. Asking your mother, who is just finishing a five day fast, to carry your backpack up the subway steps because you are kind of tired... Well, you might not do it so often after the error of your ways has been pointed out to you. However, you would probably still expect her to make you dinner, clean up after you, and do your laundry....

But on the other side, if you are a mother who does too much for other people and does not leave enough time to take care of yourself, you could end up run down and develop problems with your health...and then you would not be able to take care of those other people as effectively. 

And you would be further inconveniencing those other people you are supposed to be caring for by making them worry about you and your crappy health problems. 

I'm working on it.

Poor Sleep Hygiene with Acquired Melatonin Insufficiency

Don't Go Towards the Blue Light

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

Of my many health crimes, sleep deprivation was clearly the biggest and the least debatable. I felt fine on 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night for over a decade. I did. And I was an excellent sleeper during those few hours that I was in bed, rarely having any trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. 

And I could look at my blaringly blue-lit phone right before bed, say at 1 am, and not have it effect my sleep either.

Of course, I was so horrendously sleep deprived that really nothing could keep me awake.

Now that I have spent a lot of time reading and listening to various authorities tell me how essential regular sleep is and how damaging the bright blue light pouring out of all of our electronic devices can be to circadian rhythm, I can't look at my phone after 7 pm without wincing.

But I am still doing it. Case in point, finishing this post at 8:56 pm. while wincing.

But I do have my phone set to "night shift" And I am going to put my phone away and go to bed really soon. 

Really.

Potentially Inappropriate Extrapolation of Mouse Models

Analogs? Or Cuddly Pets?

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

Mice are used to study most human health problems. We share at least 95% of our genome with mice, and they can be manipulated to mimic almost human disease...But there are some significant differences between the immune systems of mice and people, so the model may not work as well for autoimmune issues as it does for, say, cardiovascular risk. And autoimmunity is often a complicated problem with diet, stress level, activity levels and genetics all playing a role.

There is always the urge to act quickly to implement new research, but treatments and "lifestyles" that benefit rodents don't alway work for people. 

Meanwhile, my pet deprived younger son and I have often discussed the possibility of a mouse or rat filling the furry creature void at our house. I think, however, we might see feral rodents too often on the New York City subway platforms for a similar creature to be a snuggly companion. 

...And it would certainly be a stressful and potentially unhealthy life for any mouse models living at our house.

Meditative Respiratory Ataxia

I'm not very good at meditating. 

But I am quite good at not breathing.

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

As I have mentioned before, I took up meditation as part of working on treating an autoimmune problem. I've not been trying anything fancy, just breathing in and out. 

But this mindfulness stuff has reminded me how terrible I am at breathing.

I have to remind myself constantly all day long to stop holding my breath and clenching my jaw...while on I am the train, while I am exercising, while I am listening to my 9 year harangue me about how he absolutely needs to buy a Nerf gun with a bayonet attachment.

And just thinking about my breathing makes me tense, which I am pretty sure is not the intended effect.

Adaptogenic Adaptation

Adaptogenic Adaptation 

What effect does all this ingestion of "natural" herbs and roots really have?

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

I sought help from what one might call "alternative health" because I wanted to avoid taking a chemotherapy drug with some rather well known, and rather substantial, side effects. 

However, the avoidance of Methotrexate has ironically led to the ingestion of many other less well studied substances. Ideally, if a substance is more or less a food, and perhaps even a food that has been consumed traditionally in another culture for hundreds or even thousands of years, it must be relatively safe...maybe?

Adaptogens are a particularly relevant. They are defined as "natural substances considered to help the body adapt to stress and to exert a normalizing effect upon bodily processes" They are supposedly able to perform the magic trick of supplying the body what it needs when it needs it to achieve homeostasis. Most of us have heard of Ginseng, but there are many others including Licorice, Eleuthero, Schisandra, Aswaganda, Holy Basil, Rhodiola, etc, etc.

While such adaptogenic herbs are not inexpensive, there is no serious pharmaceutical money in them, and therefore few well-funded, double-blind, peer-reviewed studies on their effectiveness and side effects.  No drug company can own Licorice root, so there is little incentive to fund a study. This is in marked contrast to the super-expensive "Biologic" medications for autoimmune disorders that can range from a few to a hundred thousand dollars for a year of treatment.  (At least Methotrexate, bless it's toxic and no longer patented soul, is extremely cheap.) 

I've taken quite a few adaptogens and other supplements over the last few months without any apparent negative consequences so far. My skin is mostly asymptomatic and at this point, I don't even test positive for autoimmunity. 

Was it the adaptogens?...or the getting more sleep?...or both?...or the lack of gluten and dairy? 

The mystery will have to remain unsolved.

Cognitive Decline with Suspected Neuroinflammation

I feel cranky and stupid: Does my brain look swollen to you?

It has been clear to medical science for a while that chronic inflammation can contribute to neurodegenerative disorders like Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. There is now additional evidence that inflammation can also have consequences on basic mood and cognition.

I'm definitely not at my sharpest or my most generous of mood. And given my recent adventures in autoimmunity, I definitely have an inflammation problem. Could the two be related? 

Or am I just a cranky, sleep-deprived middle aged woman?

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

Excessive Glycogen Availability with a Side of Collagen

I am eating a lot less sugar lately...but, of course, I am still surrounded by it.

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

There is more and more evidence that consuming too many easily digested carbohydrates can have serious health consequences that are neurological, cardiovascular and autoimmune. Most of the sugar we ingest is stored in cells in the  liver and muscles in the form of glycogen for future use. But we can only store so much at a time.

The Paleo community argues that we ought to eat more like our Paleolithic ancestors did. These hunter gatherers probably walked something like 11 miles a day in search of foods that were extremely low in highly processed sugars. If these people were hunting animals, they weren't looking for those manufactured by Haribo.

So, maybe a head covering made out a giant gummy bear might not be a good idea.

But Paleo folks are very much pro-collagen, with the strange result that there are many "Paleo" recipes for gummies.  And indeed, the gelatin in most gummy bears is made from animal skins and bones. (Google it if you doubt- it's one of those "frightening things you didn't know" sort of memes)

Sadly, both refined sugar and animal skin and bones have not been on my menu lately.  I have at least temporarily starved out much of my "appetite" for sugar. After a few days without food, something like romaine lettuce tastes remarkably sweet. But I was a lifelong appreciator of excessively sweet things, so future overconsumption of carbohydrates still seems like a strong possibility.

I can't really say, however, that I miss gummy bears. 

Neuroplastic Metabiosis with Opportunistic Organism

Meditation does not always produce a tranquil mind.

#inktober2016

#MaybeYouShouldSeeADoctorAboutThat

In my continuing, and arguably neurotic, quest to not again be covered in a revolting skin disorder, and to generally be more healthy, I have tried to pick up the habit of meditation. 

This is not because I particularly enjoy the activity. According to my former internist, research has shown that a regular meditation practice is "more effective than topical steroids!" A low bar, perhaps, but still relevant.

Trying to find time to just think about breathing is of course a challenge. I wake up 15 minutes early at 5:45, and try to work on the breathing in and out thing while still in bed. (Ha! I know. It barely counts if one is still in bed)

My "practice" is often interrupted by the sounds of video gameplay coming from the living room. Sounds of explosions...mayhem...giant lizards...

Metabiosis is a process in which one organism prepares an environment for another. This term usually refers a "parasitoid relationship," and perhaps it might also describe procreation and parenting...

There was a period during my first pregnancy where my son's father and I cheerfully referred to our future child as "the parasite." 

Now that he and his brother are in the world, sitting on our couch, waiting impatiently to be served a tasty afterschool snack, perhaps metabiosis might still come to mind. 

There is definitely no question that they have infected my mind as well as my body.