Sunday, October 22, 2017

Passive Aggressive Massage

"I will be even mild and docile...if thou wilt also perform thy part, the which thou owest me."

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny Drawing 22

My son is under the impression that being available to provide back and neck massages at any time is in my job description as his mother. 

We disagree on this point, and I have made this clear a good many times. 

Despite my fine application of loving, positive, parental boundary setting, there may have been a few passive aggressive neck rubs delivered over the last year.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Sympathy Fish

"Pitiless as you have been towards me, I now see compassion in your eyes"

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny Drawing 19

Doing reading homework on the train on the way home is pretty damn difficult...even for those who are not a tired, distractible 10 year old boy.  

But I can't afford to be too sympathetic, or else, we will never be finished, and never get home.

It finally happened. I had a good run of 18 days of finished ink and watercolor drawings. this Inktober. But there is no way this one is going to get a color treatment tonight unless I stayed up extra late, and I am no longer allowed to do so.

So here it is as a monochrome. The fish was going to be a really lovely reddish orange to contrast with the florescent light of subway. 

Please use your imagination to conjecture what a nice job I might have done with that.
Sadly, when I finish it later when I don't have a deadline, I will probably fuss over it and kill it. 

But it is safe for now.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

No Exit

"Have I not suffered enough, that you seek to increase my misery?"

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny Drawing 18

It's been a rough week.
And it's only Wednesday.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017


"We must continue our course with the rest and learn to think ourselves fortunate"

Inktober 2017 / Hiseous Progeny Drawing 17

Hard to be grateful during the morning commute on the NYC subway.

But cold weather and the approach of Halloween does present the opportunity to dust off the skull neck gaiter- and to reveal one's essential undead nature.

Saturday, October 14, 2017


"There is something at work in my soul which I do not understand"

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny drawing 12

Those electronic rectangles, so soothing to the individual when one is surrounded by others...providing virtual human connection, and shielding one...from other humans in physical proximity.

Yeah...I wanted to draw some skulls. That's a pug and a house cat.

Sorry boys. 

Underground Monsters

"It is true, we shall be monsters...but on that account we shall be more attached to one another"

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny Drawing 14

It is true, I biked the kids to school for five years at least partially to avoid having to deal with them on the train twice a day. 

We are all much more mature and calm now, but we still have our moments.

Not that these comments explain this drawing. I can't claim that.

Collosal Stature

"My person was hideous and my stature gigantic."

....particularly when standing on the living room furniture.

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny Drawing 13

A little pretend for Friday the 13th.
Some kids want to imagine being doctors or firefighters or superheroes....

I did not do him justice. But sadly, the health gods have ruled that I am no longer allowed to stay up late to work on silly drawings.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Mutually Assured

"For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires."

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny Drawing #11

Mutually assured destruction/devotion

Misery with Cords

"Misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous."

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny drawing 10

The abject misery of adolescence. The absurdity of being asked to do homework when there are so many important electronic cords. 

It is hard to be polite to your humorless jailer in these circumstances.

Yeah, it's late and unfinished. Again. I was busy with feeding, nagging and transporting today. Same old.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Wet dog

"There is love in me the likes of which you've never seen"

...And the smell of wet dog.

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny Drawing 9

The burning, yet unsatisfied desire for a pet meets a particularly unsubtle metaphor for the challenges of self regulation in an unfinished, poorly documented drawing. 

Sunday, October 8, 2017


"I must not be trifled with."

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny

Our older son has been master of the dismissive look since six months of age. And, as his nursery school teacher observed, he has never been afraid to say no to an adult. 

Now that he is 14, we are not earning his approval any more frequently.

Another late, unfinished and poorly photographed drawing for Inktober. (And it's only the 8th day of the month) I am definitely going to have to get my act together, or fall hopelessly behind.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Many Handed Progeny

"You are my creator, but I am your master"

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny Drawing 7

Late and unfinished again. 
But there were people who needed to be fed and taken places today, so time to make drawings about neediness was limited.

Friday, October 6, 2017

We Belong Dead

"I became myself capable of bestowing animation upon lifeless matter."

Inktober 2017 / Hideous Progeny Drawing 6

Unfinished and poorly photographed as I missed the daylight today, but my son tells me I should post it anyway as to not fall behind.

I guess this one is about the intersection of the love of zombies and the hatred of homework. I will try to explain tomorrow when I finish it and take a better picture. 

Wednesday, October 4, 2017


"No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as I should deserve theirs."

Ha ha. Just kidding. 

My younger son likes to rest his head on top of mine, driving his remarkably pointy chin into my skull. My older son is more interested in maintaining his own perspective and is presently less interested in denting the maternal cranium.

Hideous Progeny / Inktober 2017 drawing 4

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Monday, October 2, 2017

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Hideous Progeny

Hideous Progeny:
(But free of hydrogenated oils)

Today is the first day of Inktober, a yearly "art challenge" where one is supposed to make a drawing in ink every day. I embraced it last year mostly as an opportunity to make a series of drawings that were NOT on napkins.  Not that the napkins are not executed in ink, but it's not traditional ink. 

The drawing series last year ended up being mostly about my then fairly recent travels in the world of "alternative" health and wellness filtered through my longer term interest in representing fragmentation and discomfort with the body. 

I managed to scare away at least 500 followers a week on the Daily Napkins Instagram account during Inktober 2016. The drawings were definitely not popular with those who were expecting to see images of pugs dressed as batman rendered on napkins

I've been having trouble identifying a theme for the year's drawings. I am afraid they will be no more popular than last year.

I think I will spare everyone (and myself) an explanation this evening.

For the moment, I think I will just offer the information that this is a drawing of my younger son and a Jiffy Pop Popcorn foil. The term "Hideous Progeny" comes from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

I do promise not to entirely neglect the napkin enterprise during the month.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Pennyworth Meets Pennywise

Better Pennyworth than Pennywise? 
The Evil Clown & Alfred share some tea & cookies. 

(Was the Clown Prince not invited?)

Yes, it is true, I was required to escort four 14 year olds to a screening of "IT" over the holiday weekend. 

Since the birth of our first son, I have seen a great many movies that I would not have chosen for myself. Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised. Sometimes not. 

My greatest hope for "IT" was that it would freak out our older son enough to keep him from sneaking out to our darkened living room in the middle of the night to check Instagram. 

The attitude at our local theater seemed to indicate that the movie was genuinely disturbing: there were signs posted on all the entrance doors stating that absolutely no one under 12 would be allowed in even with parental escort. And the ticket seller informed me that I couldn't just buy the adolescents' tickets. I had to be sure to sit right next to them. 

Having survived the screening, I can report that it was not much more scary than say something like the preview for "Lights Out," or "Annabelle."  Nor was it effective at curbing the desire for midnight teenage social media updates. 

Sadly, unlike many other movies that I have seen with my kids, I did not find it possible to doze during it. Maybe that is a compliment. But I'm afraid it had more to do with the "jump scares" liberally distributed throughout. 

I suppose, geriatric that I am, I might prefer horror movies where there is more suggestive build-up and less actual gory mayhem. Once you've gnawed a small child's arm off in the opening scene, where can you go from there?

On this napkin, I am imagining a more civilized visit with evil. Because who is more civilized than Alfred? (I was aiming for the Jeremy Irons "Batman V Superman incarnation of Alfred, if that needs to be said, which it unfortunately does)

And there was that dumb thing about them both having "Penny" in their names.

But did Alfred make the frosted red balloon and batarang sugar cookies? Or maybe Pennywise brought them as a thoughtful hostess gift?

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Hairless Pets We Don't Have

My son has been wishing for a munchkin cat lately...

Why not a munchkin sphynx?...

And a hairless rat 
And a crested dog?

Who could be allergic to this crew?

My son was not impressed (to say the least) by the idea of pets without fur.
But I find the idea of a hairless cat perhaps less troubling than a cat with short legs.
Having cohabited with felines for many years before I married an allergic man, my considered opinion is that the average feline is at least as attached to being able to leap on to the kitchen counter as he or she is to being furry.

But who knows. None of these animals will be living in our house anytime soon.
....with or without their fur...or their legs.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Pomeranian Cthulhu

"It seemed to be a sort of monster...of a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive"
-H.P. Lovecraft

Our younger son still wants a dog, desperately...and it must be a Pomeranian despite shedding and allergy issues.

But perhaps a mixed breed?
Tentacles don't shed.

Cthulhu waits dreaming......

Monday, September 11, 2017

Eye to Hand Coordination

Eye of Horus Imaginary Tattoo:

Perhaps a well known YouTube personality has a eye tattoo on his hand that our younger son admires. I am not at liberty to comment on the source. 

I can report, based on a few minutes of googling, that there sure are a lot of eye tattoos out there, and that many of them are on hands, and quite a few reference the Egyptian Eye of Horus.

My rendition here is much more portrait than realistic tattoo depiction. And I am certainly not encouraging permanent ink for 10 year olds.... Although at this point in our relationship, if I did not want my kids to get inked, the most strategic thing I could do would be to strongly encourage them to get many prominent tattoos.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Skylanders Skyrim Mash up

Skyrimlanders. Or is it Skylandrim?
The younger set takes on The Elder Scrolls and Spyro the Dragon faces the Dovahkiin

Our sons might be too old for Skylanders, and technically too young for Skyrim. 

But we are all pretty confused at this point about what is age appropriate.  

Our older son claims that he has been playing Skyrim in a mod that turns all the dragons into Thomas the Tank Engine, but I have not personally observed this.

If there is one for Thomas, there should definitely be a Skylanders mod for the Elder Scrolls, but I don't know if such a thing exists. Although purple Spyro would seem to be the Barney of the Skyrim dragon universe. I considered drawing the "Dark Spyro" version of the character, where he looks more serious in black and silver. 

But I decided if I were going to mash up the two games that Spyro should be in his more colorful, child friendly form. 

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Portrait with Absent Sons

School is coming up soon, and we are spending some quality time together as a family.
So that the kids will appreciate going back to school.

They are rarely impressed by my parenting lately.

Myself neither.

But probably for not exactly the same reasons.

PS: I am still working on this one.  It's really hard to compose a photo of yourself with the non selfie  side of the phone.  My sons each came in to look at me a few times while I was trying to take this shot, wondering what could possibly be taking me so long when there was food that I could have been serving them.
It is still not the composition that I had in mind, but coincidentally, my phone is no longer functioning as a camera...or as a phone for that matter... so I am done for the moment.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Puppy Diss Track Vlog

Who's the Dawg Now?
The canines convene. Could they be making a diss track?

(Another in our vlogger/internet famous dog series)

While I see it as my job to try to expose my kids to aspects of culture that they might miss or not appreciate otherwise, the exposure usually flows in the other direction and I end up trying to understand things that, well, I find challenging. 

Let me be entirely honest: I am a woman who was born in the late 1960's. (I am ancient in online years) I attended a couple of institutions of higher learning that had very selective admissions processes. I might have considered myself to be at least an aspiring intellectual at some point.

So, this YouTube vlogging thing... I have to admit that I don't really have the resources to understand some of it. 

Like the online gaming obsession, I try not to just completely dismiss the whole endeavor. The vloggers that my kids watch, seem, well... perhaps less mature and more materialistic than would be ideal....

Ok, yes, I understand that this is entertainment, not role modeling....with trips to the mall, "Prank your Bros," and "Look at my expensive car!" moments sprinkled throughout.

As to the squabbling, gossiping and dissing that goes on within the community of vloggers... Let's just say, that I don't have anything constructive to add here. 

In preparation for making this drawing, I watched several "diss tracks" where one vlogger raps about how his former friend, brother, or significant other, is now uncool, unsexy, stupid, and just not as wonderful as his own sportscar owning self. Ok. Well, they are not clubbing baby seals or selling unnecessary pharmaceuticals to children, so why should I bother to disapprove?

But they have dogs! 

Some of these folks have dogs who have millions of followers on Instagram. And who among us can disapprove of a cute dog with 2.6 million followers?

But maybe the dogs themselves might disapprove. Who knows?

I had some fantasies about how fun it would be to draw puppies posing in pseudo-rapper diss poses, posturing in front of their Rolls or Lamborghinis. But as usually, I was too busy just trying to accurately render the dogs in question: Kong, Apollo, and London. (Companions to Logan Paul, Jake Paul, Faze Banks and Alissa Violet if you are not among the following) 

And here are all the relevant Instagram handles if you need to know more: @ourdoglondon @kongdasavage @apollothek9 @banks @alissaviolet
@jakepaul @loganpaul

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Deadpool Wears Deadpool

No better way to annoy your parents than to wear your Deadpool onesie all day long.

Deadpool would. 

Our son found his onesie at Walmart and the rest is history. 

Ongoing history.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

...That Explains the Laser Puppies

Of course my kids enjoy the short spoof movie "Kung Fury."  We first watched it long ago when they were far too young for such things. A 1980's style rogue police officer develops fantastic martial arts powers, and travels back in time to kill Hitler, "Kung F├╝hrer" with a detour to a prehistoric era inhabited by fur-bikini clad Valkyries, a giant God Thor and velociraptors that shoot laser beams from their eyes. When he is told that he has landed in "the Viking Age" Kung Fury responds, "That explains the Laser Raptors!"

Laser Puppies seemed the appropriate response to Laser Raptors...though I did give some consideration to the possibility of Laser Sharks.

But Laser Puppies have appeared recently, and repeatedly, in the entertaining Disney XD animated series, "Star vs. the Forces of Evil." so this is not totally unexplored territory.

But our Laser Puppies are Pugs and French Bulldogs, not just any puppies.

So there.....

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Portuguese Water Dog

"I should have been a pair of ragged claws..."
Or just one big claw and a happy dog on a beach...

We had a lovely trip to a friend's house out on Long Island last week.
We got to hang out with his dog and see thousands of lopsided fiddler crabs scuttling around furiously (fleeing from us of course) on the tidal beach.

Not that the dog and the crabs were the only highlights of the trip.
In all honesty, the dog was not pleased to be on the beach on that particular day. And the crabs didn't want to hang out with us any day, ever.

But they were the only two features of the trip that I could readily combine into a silly drawing that somehow seemed appropriate to me. (Maybe just me?)

Thanks so much for letting us stay at your cool house Alex!

Actual Atlantic Marsh Fiddler Crabs (Uca Pugnax):
From the web, demonstrating the one oversize "cheliped" on the males:

And from my video of the mass crab flight from the scary humans:

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Thank You Note (Again)

Absorb Any Thankfulness Today?

My sons had a great summer at camp. One was a camper and was an "intern in training."

As always, it was, and is, difficult to come up with an appropriate way to thank the people who are generous enough to teach my kids. I have enormous admiration for people who work skillfully with children (and with my kids in particular!) since I am a pathetic amateur always in need of improvement in this area. 

And how can we express this enormous gratitude? With a briefly executed sketch on a non archival paper product of course.

Unfortunately, I did not get to spend much time on this one unfortunately. It suffers from a bit too much unintentional awkwardness...unlike the intentional awkwardness of the other napkins. Ha ha.

But the kids do look a little bit like our kids.

And they did not actually have to pose for the thank you note. While they may not have felt consciously appreciative of that, there was an absence of their usual complaints, so I was extra thankful about that also.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Justice League Members View the 2017 Eclipse

Be Sure to View the 2017 Eclipse Safely:
(Even if you are Batman)
(Unless, perhaps, your head is already on fire)

We are getting ready for the Great American (partial) Eclipse here in Brooklyn.

There's been a lot of discussion about how to view the eclipse in a safe manner. I am the proud owner of not one, but two, arc welding helmets, so we are pretty well outfitted. But the kids really wanted cool eclipse viewing glasses to be purchased expressly for the occasion. Not too much chance of that happening now at t minus one hour.

I am still thinking about a Fresh Direct box viewer though. Unfortunately, our latest delivery is not due until 3-5 pm today, so I will have to unpack our paper recycling pile.

The three superheroes Batman, Firestorm and Stargirl hail from the latest DC Cartoon Network show that my kids have been watching, "Justice League Action."  

Firestorm has a perpetual flame emanating from the top of his head so a eclipse box viewer will protect his vision, but not prevent all burning.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Napkin Portraits

We are still working on the napkin portrait thing.
I have to embrace a certain amount of failure on these, since I can't see very well to compose the shot and my collaborator is definitely not a perfectionist.

And sometimes, just plain absent:

Friday, August 11, 2017

Rainbow Six Siege's Sledge Makes a Partial Appearance

Who needs explosives?
Or napkins?

My older son asked for this character from Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege. 

I hear his catchphrase is "Who needs explosives?" Apparently his "tactical breaching hammer" works better than incendiary devices. 

I was more interested in drawing his stylish gas mask, but quite frankly, did not have time to draw either very well. This napkin was produced in the morning, in the harried 15 minutes between serving a breakfast that the kids ignored, and hurrying them out the door to camp.

Thus it has the dreaded (and previously forbidden) white space.  In their younger youth, my kids decided that napkins with white areas were a sign that Mom was shirking. And God forbid that one brother got a fully colored napkin, and the other an example of maternal lack. I tried to explain the design appeal of properly used negative space, but no one was buying. 

Perhaps napkins are just not the medium to elicit discussions of design and negative space?

But by now, the kids are older and slightly more relaxed about how much time was spent on one napkin or another. This is good, as the whole activity is obviously beyond ridiculous. 

I do think, however, that Sledge looks kind of nice disappearing off to the side. And thousands of napkins later, I still appreciate the lovely patterns on fancy Vanity Fair dinner napkins.
My older son asked for this character from Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege. 

I hear his catchphrase is "Who needs explosives?" Apparently his "tactical breaching hammer" works better than incendiary devices. 

I was more interested in drawing his stylish gas mask, but quite frankly, did not have time to draw either very well. This napkin was produced in the morning, in the harried 15 minutes between serving a breakfast that the kids ignored, and hurrying them out the door to camp.

Thus it has the dreaded (and previously forbidden) white space.  In their younger youth, my kids decided that napkins with white areas were a sign that Mom was shirking and probably didn't care enough. God forbid that one brother got a fully colored napkin, and the other an example of maternal lack. I tried to explain the design appeal of properly used negative space, but no one was buying. 

Perhaps napkins are just not the medium to elicit discussions of design and negative space?

But by now, the kids are older and slightly more relaxed about how much time was spent on one napkin or another. This is good, as the whole activity is obviously beyond ridiculous. 

I do think, however, that Sledge looks kind of nice disappearing off to the side. And thousands of napkins later, I still appreciate the lovely patterns on fancy Vanity Fair dinner napkins.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Terraria's Moon Lord

The Moon Lord's Hand Sees All (...the Food You Are Not Eating at Lunch)

The Terraria game resurfaces as a favorite with our kids on a regular basis. Hanging out with a couple of friends at camp reinvigorated their interest recently.

I don't know much about the Moon Lord beyond the fact that his face resembles Cthulhu and he has a glowing eye in each palm.  For whatever it is worth, the eyes in his palms are oriented vertically and are not like the "Hamsa" hand common in eastern religious iconography. 

The Terraria wiki says: "Moon Lord is a Hardmode, post-Lunatic Cultistboss.  It is Terraria's final boss."

There's a lot more to this boss, thematically, and visually. I just went for the aspect that was easiest to draw on a napkin.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Subway Portrait Napkins

Public Degradation with Absorbent Paper Products:
(Perhaps not one of our more successful "napkins in the real world" photo sessions.)

I thought this year's napkin portraits should be staged in the subway since our rides back and forth to summer camp were a notable feature of the summer...for me anyway. I biked the boys back and forth to school for five years, so we did not see much of the trains on a daily basis then. And for the last two years, they have been at separate schools, and a three person train ride was relatively rare. Next year, perhaps they will be going to camp without me having to chaperone so consistently. 

So, I thought commemoration was in order.

Or, it is possible that I was just being a sadist.

The kids are always not up for having their picture taken with napkins (or without napkins, to be honest). And this time, I added the adolescent-mortifying twist of doing it in public with a selfie stick. My older son described our seven minutes on the subway platform as "just about the worst thing ever." He added, "Mom, this is why I resist leaving the house, because then stuff like this happens." 

Indeed. Leave your seat on the couch, and the next thing you know, your sadistic (and masochistic) mother might be forcing you to do dumb stuff on a subway platform. Well.... there was no actual forcing. I did bribe them with a somewhat indulgent lunch, so I don't think they suffered all that much. But I'm sure the psychological scars are deeper than I can imagine.

Nobody on the platform gave us a second look. It is New York. We have all seen so much worse in the subway.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Goofy Self Portrait Napkin

Every summer I try to do a set of portraits of the kids and maybe myself. I am not always successful. Last summer, we never managed to get a good picture of the napkins. Even when there is bribery involved, the kids usually have about 90 seconds of patience for me and my dippy napkins, and that is not always enough to orchestrate the real world shot.

This year my plan involves a selfie stick and the G train platform. The kids are fairly horrified by the prospect, and I anticipate an even lower than previous level of cooperation. 

I've almost finished the napkins, but now have the much more challenging prospect of luring the kids back to the G platform.

My napkin face looks a bit startled here in a test shot, perhaps by the goofiness of the idea...or maybe just the goofiness of my hat.

(Go to "Napkins in the Real World" to see previous attempts)

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Nightcore "Believer"

Feel the PAIN

My sons are not much concerned with the concept of originality or authorship when it comes to these napkins and have often instructed me to "just copy" an image that really interests them.

Courtesy of a mixture of my klutzy drawing and misplaced hubris, I usually manage to put my own spin on the drawings that are supposed to just be copies.

My younger son specifically told me to "just exactly copy the cover image from the Nightcore Believer video" but as usual I wasn't able to leave well enough alone...and, as he would be quick to tell you, I don't do anime style very well.

But before I could even try to draw, I first had to figure out what Nightcore is. My son made the request as if it were something familiar to everyone, so perhaps I was alone in my ignorance? On the off chance that others share my lack of exposure, I will now quote Wikipedia: "A nightcore edit is a remix track that speeds up its source material, increasing its pitch."

I have to add that my kids' understanding of Nightcore is a bit more specific: for them it is a popular song that is accelerated to near chipmunk pitch and then paired with a moody anime style, minimally animated, drawing.

In this case, it is Imagine Dragons' song "Believer" which, due to my cohabitation with preadolescents, I had already heard a few more times than is healthy for my middle aged brain. But with this video, one can hear it faster, and with the benefit of the lyrics helpfully printed on screen. I had not previously realized the frequent and emphatic use of the word "pain."

I have included the original image with a bit of inspired lyrics superimposed... and a screenshot of "pain" which is thoughtfully isolated on screen when it appears, just so one should not miss it.

Click on the images if you wish to experience adolescent pain yourself.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Chthulu and Godzilla

I Welcome Our Alien Overlord Cthulhu 

In any substantial conversation about giant monsters (that one has with adolescent boys) there is always the consideration of size. 

Whose monster is bigger?

A while back, (I am far behind in my napkin posts) our older son was on a bit of a Cthulhu kick. Now, I cannot recall what prompted it. Unfortunately, by the time I had drawn the napkin, he was mostly over it.

But, Cthulhu is claimed to be a whole lot larger than King Kong or assorted Kaiju- even the greatly enlarged Godzilla from the 2014 film.

Perhaps Godzilla will be like a mere action figure in comparison to our alien overlord.

Not that there is anything "mere" about Godzilla action figures.

Child Constantine With Flaming Demon Lollipop

Underage Constantine with Appropriate Oral Gratification Object:

My younger son has been watching "Justice League Action" lately, including the episode "Trick or Threat" where Batman, Zatanna, Constantine, and Doctor Fate are turned into 10 year olds by Klarion the witch boy and then visit the House of Mystery.

Being ten himself, the idea of a similarly aged Constantine was pretty compelling for my son. (Halloween costume?) He was quick to note that the kid version of John has a sucker perpetually in his mouth rather than a cigarette. 

I guess the need for oral gratification starts early. 

I did upgrade Constantine's lollipop to a flaming devil head gummy, since the images for the live action tv show favor flames....and because that was more fun to draw.