Pizza Rat Visits the L Platform

If we were to imagine the Venn diagram intersection of rodents, fast food and the internet...

Well, we don’t need to imagine it, do we? 

A short video clip of a rat dragging a slice down the NYC subway stairs became a social media sensation known as “Pizza Rat” back in the fall of 2015. 

There might be an excess of rats, pizza and internet memes in my life recently, so Pizza Rat seems freshly relevant.

To explain the overdose of pizza and memes, I can only report that I have two teenaged children. 

As for the rats: of course they have always been our constant companions on our daily NYC subway commute. And I had been idly considering the possibility of a pet rat for the pet deprived kids...

But I am thinking about the local rat population much more now since our trash cans have become a busy rat buffet. Our robust, well-fed local rats have proved themselves capable of repeatedly gnawing well-fed-rat sized holes in our heavy duty plastic cans so as to not be denied constant access to our building’s trash.

No doubt they are motivated to enjoy the leftovers from our sons’ frequent pizza dinners. 

Last evening, as I dragged our trash cans out to the curb for pickup, one of our furry pizza crust eaters made an emergency exit, launching his (or her) well-fed body out of the hole into my backside and using the length of my leg as a ramp to scurry for the sidewalk.  

I was disappointed to note that the rat was not carrying any pizza at the time.

(If you are interested in the tale of Pizza Rat, there is always the crazy Zardulu angle to mull over)

Shark Week Pizza Party

(But don't hang around to find out who doesn't get a second slice)

There was pizza in the lunch boxes. That's my excuse.

Dark Souls Covetous Demon Covets Pizza

Because who doesn't?....

I've more or less given up on the concept of packing my kids super nutritious lunches. They are masters of intermittent fasting when sent to camp with a sack full of healthy vegetables and virtuous protein.

So far their pizza diet is not making them resemble this demon. 

So at least there's that. 

Reggie From "Free Birds" with Pizza Steve from "Uncle Grandpa"

"Hang on to your nuggets"... and to your dairy, and your gluten:  Thanksgiving food that talks back.

We saw "Free Birds" over the weekend during a ten year old's birthday party.  The movie's other tagline posits itself as "The best turkey movie of all time."  This may be true.  Perhaps it would be wise to leave it at that.

I will observe, however, that it reminded me strongly of "Chicken Little" a widely panned 2005 Disney movie that was the object of obsession for our older son for much of the period between his third and fourth years.  Something about the talking birds, wimpy underdog protagonist and invisible flying ship catapulted me back to our repeated, stupifying viewings of "Chicken Little."  That said,  "Chicken Little" features one of my favorite animated characters of all time: Fish Out of Water ....and "Free Birds" does not have that redeeming feature.

At any rate, "Free Birds" posits pizza as the solution to the problem of the Thanksgiving driven murder of turkeys.  While my children are happy to embrace an exclusively dairy and gluten based diet whenever possible, Uncle Grandpa's Pizza Steve presents a further food empathy challenge.

Shaggy and Scooby with Uncle Grandpa's Pizza Steve

One might imagine these chronic overeaters being troubled by the appearance of talking food.

Some iteration of "Scooby Doo" is scheduled on Cartoon Network right between getting dressed time and racing out the door late for school time, so Scooby and the gang are back in our kids' heads.

While I absolutely loathed the Scooby Doo franchise when I was a kid, I have come to grudgingly appreciate it over the last few years of exposure.  Now I'm working on Pizza Steve.

Prince Zuko From "Avatar: The Last Airbender" Firebends a Pizza

There is a lot of air, water and firebending going on at our house.  Or at least a great deal of dramatic gesticulating accompanied by loud whooshing noises.  I like the absence of pretend swords and guns, but bath time has been a disaster lately.

Ansel insisted that I draw three characters from "Avatar" on this one napkin, but I am really not that familiar with the series, so just Prince Zuko was enough of a challenge for one night.

There was a mini pizza in Ansel's lunchbox today.

Wind-Up Knight, Cockatrice and Pizza for Archer