Spider-Man vs. Jesus

(A post from October 2nd)

Inktober 2020, Day 2

This one is not hard to find on YouTube, though the title does vary a bit: “Spider-man Fights Jesus to Bring Mr Starks Back” or “....to Bring Stan Lee Back To Life,” etc. Linkin Park’s 2002 hit, “In the End” plays for the entire clip. The combatants appear to be at some sort of party, though the video quality is extremely low, which is, I suppose, part of its charm. It did present more of a drawing challenge than I might have hoped.

There’s no hitting going on, Spider-Man and Jesus are mostly grabbing and stumbling around in a hapless manner. They do appear to be evenly matched. Spider-Man sports a baseball cap and track pants, both of which are in danger of removal throughout.

Our son agrees with the comment posted on one of the videos that “this is lowkey brilliant.” Another comment suggests that this video sums up the entire internet.

I’m not sure, 

But in the end 

It doesn’t even matter.

VSCO Guys

Since an article in the New York Times last week quoted a 12 year old girl saying that “VSCO is basically over,” I thought maybe I’d better hurry up and post this one. 

So you are either saying to yourself, “what is VSCO?” Or,  ugh, why is the napkin woman so late to this party? 

In case my mom missed the Times article, I will  briefly summarize that the term VSCO derived from a photo editing app, and is mostly favored by “VSCO girls” as a ostensibly easy-going, “beachy” aesthetic defined by several very specific consumer items: oversized t-shirts, shoes that are ugly/comfortable but specifically branded: checkerboard Vans, Crocks with charms or Birkenstock’s, pukka shell necklaces, Pura Vida bracelets, scrunchies, Fjallraven Kanken backpacks, and hydroflask drink bottles with metal straws. 

And mixed in with the brand consciousness is vague environmentalism expressed as a “save the turtles” slogan...mostly achieved by using metal straws. 

There’s some odd imported slang involved also, but I might refrain from mentioning that here to prevent my sons from writhing on the floor in torment. It seems that parental use of trendy slang is right up there in pain intensity with being doused in gasoline and set on fire.

At any rate, the VSCO trend seems to be to mostly just teenage girls being teenaged girls with the added commercial reach and reinforcement of social media. 

When I was twelve, horrifyingly enough, it was all about disco and Sasoon Jeans. Who among us remembers Sasoon Jeans? Anyone?

Moving on: 

It seemed to me that Deadpool and John Wick would appreciate a laid back surf aesthetic. Wade’s already halfway there with the Croc’s...though he does need some shoe charms.

But what do the sea turtles think about all this?

Aliens Naruto Run Out of Area 51 on Monday

(They were just waiting for all the Area 51 raiders to go home)

This one is a little late, (or is it?) as the main event to ”Storm Area 51” was of course scheduled for Friday September 20th. 

“What event?” My ever-tolerant mom is asking as she reads this....(though there was a good bit of coverage in the New York Times.... So, perhaps I can’t use Grandma as a foil here.) 

At any rate, there was a fair amount of attention paid by our kids to the supposed raid on Area 51 last Friday. The huge online phenomenon manifested a good bit smaller in the real world. And sadly, we were not among the 400 or so people who actually went to the site...or the environs. 

But we were among the millions who were impressed by the guy who managed to get his Naruto run in the background behind a reporter from “Action 13 News”...and became a worldwide meme.

Naruto running: perhaps no more implausible or uncomfortable in the real world than the extraterrestrials in Nevada.

My son tells me that he can recognize all of the aliens on this napkin, so at least there’s that.

Goose and Toothless

But would Dad be allergic to the Flerkin?

Yes, we saw “How To Train Your Dragon:The Hidden World” and “Captain Marvel”

How could we not?

The HTTYD franchise presents a marvelously compelling fantasy of the ultimate pet: Very intelligent, powerful, rideable, flying and breathing fire. So much better than your average dog, cat or even horse.

The only other things we could look for in the ultimate pet might be hidden tentacles and a pocket dimension. 

Goose the Cat/ Flerkin in “Captain Marvel” certainly did not disappoint. 

If you live with a cat and you haven’t seen the movie yet, I can only advise you to be sure to hang around for the post credit scene. 

Sadly, our house does not have accommodations for dragons or felines, but we could sure use a pocket dimension.

Silver Surfer and Stripped Fish Silliness

Or, My Color Palette From 1979 Makes a Strange Return Appearance:

I only have the barest sense of what speaks to my husband about the Silver Surfer character, but I am entirely certain it is not the ability to reflect pink and purple.

But while I was flipping through some old comic Surfer images, reflections of purple, magenta and the like were not uncommon. Yes, more tasteful highlights of blue and grey are more frequent, but somehow I was diverted into reliving my preadolescent aesthetic. 

I was in sixth grade when “The Silver Surfer : The Ultimate Cosmic Experience” originally was released....not that the one thing has anything to do with the other. 

My apologies to my spouse. Pink and purple is not his thing now, and I am fairly certain that he would not have appreciated my purple jacket, turquoise cowboy boots and magenta leg warmer ensemble back in 1978 either.

Miraculous Ladybug, Cat Noir, Spider Man and Cat Woman

Bendy Insects with Dark Felines:

Someone at our house might be watching “Miraculous,” but I am not authorized to reveal who that might be. I gather the show is quite popular...but somehow embarrassing to the in-house viewer.

We are talking about “Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir” a French anime style show (“Miraculous, les aventures de Ladybug et Chat Noir”) starring an adolescent Parisian girl named Marinette. Her secret identity is the superhero Ladybug. Her schoolgirl crush is Adrien, whose secret identity, unsurprisingly, is her superhero counterpart, Cat Noir...

Or, en francais: 

Chat Noir.

“Miraculous” definitely traffics in some friendly superhero story elements, Marinette and Adrien are simultaneously awkward young people who can’t be cool around cute members of the opposite sex....and powerful spandex clad heroes easily able to dominate evil adults.

Marinette seems to have some qualities  in common with Peter Parker.....And Adrien bears a startling resemblance to characters who are stereotypically female in the american superhero universe.

Like the cat ladies, he sports a skintight shiny black catsuit, ears, tail and pointy finger tips. And most disturbingly, he wears a large blingy gold bell around his neck.

I’m conjecturing that the French audience has a more elastic understanding of what is allowed in male superhero costumes and thematics.

Gender elasticity in superhero land is certainly a good thing.

But apparently, I need to work on my drawing of bendy people in spandex suits.

Stan Lee

I Have So Many More Stories To Tell....

Stan Lee’s cameo appearance in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 seemed like the most appropriate napkin image to mark his passing yesterday. 

(And how could I pass up the challenge of  a blotchy pink and purple sky and a transparent helmet....though maybe better luck on that next time...)

This cameo was billed in the movie’s credits as “Watchers’ Informant” and he was briefly shown twice, once in a post credit bit, regaling a group of Watchers with stories at an intergalactic transfer. The scene were perhaps a meta joke, suggesting that all of Stan’s cameos in Marvel movies, television shows and comics were appearances of the same character. 

The Watchers, imagined long ago in the comics by Lee and Jack Kirby, are powerful immortal beings whose calling is to observe galactic events.  In the Guardians’ post credits scene, The Watchers depart, leaving him protesting “Hey fellas, where are you going? You were supposed to be my lift home. I have so many stories to tell."

Here’s hoping the Watchers will be giving Stan a ride home.

Ghost’s Mask From Ant-Man and the Wasp

The Joy of Headgear That Totally Obscures Vision:

Don’t get me started about the quantum realm where Michelle Pfieffer apparently had decades of access to shampoo, mascara, and fingerless gloves... 

And besides the character’s problematic relationship to physics, Ghost is definitely not a satisfying villain, or anti-hero, or whatever. 

But, as far as our kids are concerned: she has a cool mask, so it’s all pretty good. 

This particular napkin was a slapdash effort, produced in a rush in the morning before our departure for camp...when I was supposed to be making breakfast, folding laundry, unloading the dishwasher, packing the lunch....

I did not have time to capture the weird retro textural variations on the hood and suit...but did at least draw the weird, can’t-possibly-see-out-of-them, glowing, pseudo eye protuberances.

Deadpool Goes Full Winnie The Pooh

Deadpool Goes Full Winnie the Pooh

Amid the avalanche of pop culture references in Deadpool 2, there is a memorable one to the honey loving denizen of the hundred acre wood.

The reference comes up after Deadpool has been torn in half and is home regrowing his lower body as a pair of toddler legs with adjacent little kid anatomy.  Like the name checked bear, Wade is only wearing a shirt.  And there is also a “Basic Instinct” reference. I’ll leave it there.

Yes, so very inappropriate for family viewing.  That was the point of course.

But I find the display of male body parts in a mainstream movie in a non sexual (and non violent) context to be not entirely a bad thing. 

I realize this may not be a popular sentiment. There is a thicket of gender issues here that I will resist wading into today. But suffice it to say, while the Deadpool film franchise certainly prides itself on boundary pushing, it troubles me less than most R rated action movies as it is not so steeped in misogynistic imagery.

For the napkin, of course the pants had to be on, so the Pooh reference had to be shifted a bit....but the DeadPooh possibilities are there... My kids were not big Winnie the Pooh fans back in the day. (They preferred Curious George)

But, like most small children, they did enjoy reclining on the couch without pants. 

Turbo and Deadpool

The super speed healing man and the super speed mollusc:

We still haven’t seen Deadpool 2 yet. 

My sons are suffering mightily. 

And loudly.

But we did see the more age appropriate snail with Deadpool’s voice way back in 2013.

(Did you remember that Ryan Reynolds was Turbo? 

Are you now as irritated as my sons were when I reminded them?)

Mercenary/ Furry Acroyogo

Aspirational Yoga: Wade and Cuddle Team Leader get their namaste on. (Characters our kids have been deprived of do some acroyoga that we are not capable of)

Deadpool 2 opened and somehow we haven’t seen it yet. I haven’t figured out how I am going to fast forward through the parts inappropriate for an 11 year old in the theater.

And, curmudgeon that I am, I refused to give my older son $20 to purchase the Cuddle Team Leader skin in Fortnite.

But I drew this napkin. 

Because every mother wants provide her sons with an picture of an amoral violent superhero and a sexy furry...?

Deadpool and Jack Jack

Successful Childcare Always Requires Some Invulnerability...or at the very least accelerated healing.

Deadpool 2 and The Incredibles 2 are movies we are looking forward to right now. Our sons like the idea of the multi-super-powered baby running his less super father ragged almost as much as they love the promise of sarcastic violence and inappropriate sexual content in Deadpool.

It seemed to me that, while he might be extremely unqualified to babysit, Wade might be one of the few supers who might survive an evening alone with Jack Jack....without cookies anyway.

My younger son points out that I should have drawn Jack Jack’s lasers blasting through the top of Wade’s head rather than just having set his suit on fire.  

I am sure that would be more, ahem, “accurate” to the nature of the baby’s lasers. And more in keeping with the Deadpool genre. And more appropriate for the childcare theme: taking care of an infant can simultaneously make one feel as if one has brain damage and that one might benefit from a lobotomy. 

But my sons read these posts, so for the record, neither child has ever set one of their parents’ heads on fire, ever. Or been the verifiable cause of definite, diagnosable, parental brain damage.

Not that we couldn’t use some invulnerability and speed healing, both literally and metaphorically.

Chewy and Rocket

You can never go wrong with a furry sidekick: 

Chewie (or is it Chewy?) and Rocket affirm how much they have in common

...though the raccoon looks a bit concerned about the situation.

Probably what my sons really like most about these two is their weapons, not their furry charm.

This one was for Star Wars Day (May the fourth be with you) ...but it did not get finished or posted then as dinner has to get made, even on Star Wars Day.

Unicorn, Raptor, Wade, Rocket and Groot

Much anticipated spring movie characters with weird, awkwardly drawn, pink furry unicorn:

Yes of course we saw the Avengers Infinity War. 

And we will not miss Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, no matter how ridiculous the premise necessary to allow dinosaurs the opportunity to eat humans again.

Deadpool 2 presents another challenge. 

We were able to all watch the first Deadpool movie courtesy of some fancy editing by mom on the iPad. While our eleven year old son has definitely viewed more material inappropriate for his age than I care to admit here... I will probably have to put the popcorn bucket over his head if we see the movie in a theater.

The Three Star-Lords

I neglected to post this one in a timely fashion:

The Easter Bunny, incredibly overindulgent holiday character that he (or she) is, hid Funko Pop minis inside some of the plastic eggs found in our living room Easter morning....(Along with those organic jelly beans than no one really likes since the bunny takes direction from the kids’ killjoy of a mother)

Unfortunately, given the nature of blind boxes, 3 out of the 4 Guardians of the Galaxy boxes were occupied by Star Lords.

Which made me think of The Three Stooges... my apologies to Chris Pratt.

Spider-Man Noir and Gotham by Gaslight Batman

Brothers in Stylish Darkness:

Spider-Man Noir teams up with “Gotham by Gaslight”s Batman.

Our sons are fond of both of these “alternate universe” iterations of  these characters. Darkness, stylish outfits and significant violence...what’s not to like? 

Although they are supposedly separated by a few decades: Batman in “Gaslight” tracks Jack the Ripper in the late 1880’s London, and Spider-Man Noir swings in the 1930’s during the American Depression, they look like they could work together.

A crossover opportunity, perhaps?

Black Panther War Rhino

We were very happy to finally see Black Panther with our sons/ underage colonizers. 

But now everyone wants to be licked by a vibranium plated rhino

Venompool with Broccoli

Venom and Deadpool continue to be compelling are our house. Gross, immoral anti-heroes (preferably with an R rated movie) are so much more attractive to our kids than the good guys. 

And a combination of the two is particularly winsome. 

Our younger son and I debated whether he should have saliva dripping off his excessively long tongue. Most images of Venompool feature multiple strands of drool.  Nonetheless, we decided the saliva drapery was not an essential component. 

Or maybe I was just concerned that I was not going to be able to render the fluid in a convincing fashion.

But I am certain that Venompool would be salivating in anticipation of eating some broccoli in his school lunch.

Movie Popcorn

Holiday Weekend Movie Goers

We did finally make it to the other superhero movie over the fall break. At the beginning of every day over the long weekend, we would start by announcing that we would go see the DC movie that day, and then motivation would somehow prove to be insufficient. 

But today we finally made it to to the theater, and I finally have managed to photograph this napkin. 

Low expectations are often good when it comes to such things, however, so by the time we did see the movie, our younger son pronounced it not so bad after all. My expectations were perhaps not low enough for the movie or the napkin. 

But I heard that the movie theater popcorn was ok.

Deadpool Wears Deadpool

No better way to annoy your parents than to wear your Deadpool onesie all day long.

Deadpool would. 

Our son found his onesie at Walmart and the rest is history. 

Ongoing history.