Spider-Man vs. Jesus

(A post from October 2nd)

Inktober 2020, Day 2

This one is not hard to find on YouTube, though the title does vary a bit: “Spider-man Fights Jesus to Bring Mr Starks Back” or “....to Bring Stan Lee Back To Life,” etc. Linkin Park’s 2002 hit, “In the End” plays for the entire clip. The combatants appear to be at some sort of party, though the video quality is extremely low, which is, I suppose, part of its charm. It did present more of a drawing challenge than I might have hoped.

There’s no hitting going on, Spider-Man and Jesus are mostly grabbing and stumbling around in a hapless manner. They do appear to be evenly matched. Spider-Man sports a baseball cap and track pants, both of which are in danger of removal throughout.

Our son agrees with the comment posted on one of the videos that “this is lowkey brilliant.” Another comment suggests that this video sums up the entire internet.

I’m not sure, 

But in the end 

It doesn’t even matter.

Sweet Dreams Bears

 

(A post from October 1st)

Inktober 2020, Day #1:

Inktober presents an opportunity for bad drawing on a deadline once again...and not even on a napkin!

I’ve tried to keep up with the one ink drawing a night mandate of inktober for the last 4 years, much to the distaste of everyone in my immediate environment, and any remaining followers here. I’ve managed to limp through most of the month in years past, but I have to admit, given the competing demands on my time right now, the prospects are pretty grim this year.

But sadly, I haven’t given up yet.

Sometimes I just need to make some crappy drawings with the excuse of an artificial deadline. 

In previous years I have exploited my kids and made drawings about my weird health and sleep fixations. I hatched several plans over the last few weeks, but finally decided today that it should be more in the original spirit of the napkins- though, yes, this is a watercolor.

So I am drawing from the memes and videos that our sons are always trying to get me to watch.

This one is an older video, still on YouTube at close to 3 million views...though the 10 hour version has a mere 1.8 million views. The bears flop around endless to the Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams.” It’s oddly compelling even to those resistant to the charms of idiotic videos.

I haven’t done it justice at all. 

National Son Day

(This one was supposed to have been posted back on September 28th)

I’ve been considering exploiting my all suffering male offspring as source material for the upcoming #inktober, but well, I am sensitive to over handling them, so to speak...and to putting their faces out too much online as recognizable images. 

But here is a trial run, nonetheless.

My son tells me that it is recognizable as him. 

I am distracted by the drawing disaster and cannot really engage with the likeness issue.  But it’s not really looking like a solution to my inktober problem. 

Family Support

This Will Be Easier If You Don’t Struggle So Much:

(Family Support: Whether You Want It Or Not)

We were all back to school, both remote and in person.  Both iterations were challenging for all involved. Everyone needs support...but they might not enjoy receiving it. And we might not be offering the right kind.

On another note, I am still thinking about faces and face recognition...and drawing the kids in such a way that their faces are partial or not exactly recognizable- at least to an algorithm.

Napkin Portraits

Yearly Napkin Portrait Dysfunction:

The Cover Your Nose and Mouth Edition.

Every year I rediscover the information that napkins do not photograph well when put next to actual people. And that my kids are unwilling to cooperate for even the two minutes it might take to line up the image. And this time I did not ask them to embarrass themselves on a subway platform.

But it’s the dysfunction that makes it interesting....right?

If the photo actually lined up the way I planned, what would be the fun in that?

Monkey On Your Back: On the Couch Version

Pandemic Bonding Continues:

New York is opening up a bit recently, but it hasn’t really changed our sons’ couch-centric quarantine lifestyle.

And they can exercise while on the couch, mostly through”body-weight” exercises.

Incendiary Masking for a Happy July Fourth

There doesn’t seem to be much enthusiasm for fireworks this Fourth... maybe because there have been constant explosions throughout the city all week...or maybe it’s just the state of the world?

We are wearing our masks whenever we go out. Perhaps unfortunately, they do not launch fireworks. 

I’ve been sitting the last few weeks out in terms of social media, since I really did not have anything particularly pertinent to add to more important national conversations.

But petty familial mutual irritation and bad drawing have still continued.... even if they are not getting posted.

Hope everyone is safe and well this holiday!

You can see Fourth of July napkins from years past at this link

The Child, Rotta and Ahsoka

Ahsoka with Babies Yoda and Hutt:

(A Last Minute Effort for May the Fourth And the End of The Clone Wars)

Now that the kids are blasé teenagers, I sometimes forget just how intense their affection for things Star Wars was (and still is, under the cool exteriors). 

As he was a fan of the Genndy Tartakovsky Clone Wars shorts from 2003, it took our older son a while to warm up to Ahsoka and the weekly series in 2008.

But now both kids appreciate Ahsoka and are very much looking forward to her promised appearance on The  Mandalorian.

I am told there is fan speculation about her relationship with The Child.

However, as she was the caretaker for the annoying baby Hutt, Rotta, I wonder if she would be excited to have another infant-minding job.

My son also reports that she is going to be really old in the Mandalorian timeline. ....Not quite as old as his mother, of course. 

And I definitely have little interest in minding small children, or 50 year old infants.

Alone Together

We’re All in This Loneliness Together:

There’s much less FOMO when you know everyone else is also trapped at home. You are reasonably certain that they aren’t having fabulous parties that you weren’t invited to.

But social anxiety is probably not entirely extinguished by the inability to socialize.

Pandemic PE

Remote Learning Gym Class:

Is It Working Out?

We are fine. We have relatively little to complain about, given what is happening in the world lately. 

But this is not to say that the situation is optimal.

Hope all is well with you and yours!

Exercise During Remote Learning

Restorative Exercise Breaks Between Stimulating Remote Learning Classes:

It has been said that because of recent world events: in the war between the screens and the not-screens, the screens have definitely triumphed.

Our sons have never been convinced of the goodness of exercise or the merits of outdoor activities. 

And the harder I am selling something, the harder the pass. 

I would like to say these things are a recent development, but, no they’re not. 

My ability to form memories was severely compromised by extreme sleep deprivation for many years during their early childhood....but I can clearly recall our first son prone on the floor wailing, “I HATE OUTSIDE!” when he was a toddler trying to avoid a trip to the playground.

So this stay-home-all-day-with-your-WIFI  hasn’t exactly been the kids’ worst nightmare come true. 

Though after a month, there have been suggestions that they might actually miss going to school.  

Exercise, probably not so much.

Stealth Pajamas

National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day Was Today.

And Every Day.

Both kids’ schools have some sort of officially stated rule about student dress, or lack thereof, during remote learning.

Pajamas are, of course, officially forbidden.

But what if you were regularly wearing the clothes you sleep in to bricks-and-mortar school before the pandemic?

The bathrobe visible in this drawing might be giving it away. 

But if they can only see him from the chest up on Zoom, it could just be an extra cool hoodie.

Remote Learning

Remote Learning May Not Be As Stimulating as Non Remote Learning:

Spending 24 hours a day with my kids is delightful...maybe. I’m sure I will reflect fondly back on this period of time in my old age after they have moved far away. (ok, in my older, old age)

But the remote learning situation is really a bit of a challenge for us for many reasons.

Perhaps the least of the challenges is the physical environment...but it’s still a problem nonetheless.

In the past, we always wanted to avoid having the kids on their screens while alone in their rooms, so their desks and gaming have been out in the communal space.  This doesn’t work so well for virtual school, so they both set themselves up in makeshift situations in their bedrooms.

In all fairness, what you see in this drawing is no longer the arrangement for this particular student. He is now actually sitting on a chair rather than crumpled in the corner.

It’s a very uncomfortable chair in an uncomfortable location, but at least he is no longer stuffed between a stairway and a dresser.

I don’t observe any additional evidence of physical vigor, however.

SCPs for COVID-19

SCPs May Not Comply with Social Distancing:

(Because fear of imaginary things is so much more fun than fear of real things)

As contagion spreads throughout the world, and we hunker down in our apartment, pathetically bickering with one another and eyeing our diminishing stock of toilet paper, it is amusing to think about fictional threats.

I had been unsuccessfully trying to understand my sons’ interest in SCPs for quite a while before the current pandemic.

As usual in these sorts of posts: either your eyes have just rolled up in your head because how slow can this old napkin lady be?  or, you don’t have the vaguest idea what an SCP is and are pretty sure you don’t want or need to know. 

But to soldier on, despite your reasonable reservations: 

As far as I can tell, the SCP thing is a more recent instance of the online “Creepypasta” phenomenon: scary stories based in a basic organizing concept, collaboratively posted online by many people.

For the sake of expediency, I will quote from the knowyourmeme page: “SCP is a creative writing wiki centered around documenting descriptions and containment procedures of fictional objects and entities that are considered scientific anomalies and often pose a threat to society or the personnel containing it. Every entity has its own entry is labeled with a number, with "SCP" as a prefix”

SCP-049 resembles a medieval plague doctor, though the clothing and mask are somehow part of the entity’s physical body. Sadly, we can’t grow our own masks to prevent COVID-2.

SCP-096, or “Shy Guy” on the right, is often pictured with a huge gaping, muti-toothed maw. So he needs an extra large 3M mask.  I won’t attempt to detail his characteristics here, but it seems he is compelled to kill anyone who catches a glimpse of his face (even, perplexingly, represented in a photograph.... but drawings are ok- so we are safe!) 

Perhaps Shy Guy is enjoying all the social distancing.

Cupcake with Cthulhu and Godzilla

Belated Birthday Napkin:

Assessing my kids’ tastes grows ever more challenging. The day when I was sure that drawing Batman and Lightning McQueen on a napkin would be satisfying to someone have definitely passed...(which is not to say that the four year old recipient of that napkin would not have given me extensive notes on how I could have done a better job)

Selecting gifts for the recent 17th birthday definitely presented a challenge as well. I picked out a couple of t-shirts, though I was concerned that they would be deemed hopelessly uncool. 

But one of the two, featuring a fight poster proclaiming a match between Godzilla and Cthulhu was deemed “actually sort of fire” by the recipient, and he even wore it for his birthday party.  The other one hasn’t been worn and will go unmentioned here.

To go with the T-shirt, here is the napkin.

Will they fight over the cupcake? I made 96 mini cupcakes for the party and we still have an appalling number left a week later...so maybe not.

Presidential Tanning

Four Tan Men:

(Happy Presidents Day)

I gather from a few minutes of online research that today’s school holiday originated as George Washington’s Birthday (February 22nd), later included Abraham Lincoln’s birthday (February 12th)...and was finally codified into a federal holiday by Richard Nixon’s executive order, passing all of the provisions of the Uniform Monday Holiday Act in 1971. 

In other words, an opportunity to draw our current executive in chief with some of his holiday-related predecessors.

I notice the color photos of Richard Nixon available online seem to suggest that he was often a well tanned man. (The days of Kodachrome film perhaps?)

One can only guess that in the days before electric lights, Presidents Washington and Lincoln got enough outdoor time to maintain their healthy complexions. 

Happy Valentines 2020

We Ship Baby Yoda and Pikachu for Valentines Day:

I really aspired to coming up with something less predictable than this, but predictable was the best I could do today.

Our son commented that there might be a lot of romantic fan fic out there about these two. I cannot confirm or deny.

See previous Valentines napkins at this link

Wilfred Warrior

Still the Internet’s Reigning Apex Predator

We don’t live with a cat. After many years of cohabitation with felines, I may have a special place in my heart that is lined with hairballs and clawed funiture, but my sons don’t. 

But they still appreciate online cats. Because...  apparently everyone does. Our older son has shown me innumerable cat memes and vines, including recently one of his favorites from 2018 featuring internet famous cat Wilfred and actor Michael Rappaport.

I think it was the author of “The Lion in the Living Room: How House Cats Tamed Us and Took Over the World,” Abigail Tucker who explained that cats combine three persuasive qualities: Their giant forward facing eyes remind us of cute babies. But the same facial structure also suggests their predatory name. And cats are not facially emotive like dogs, so they present us with a blank surface on which to project our emotions....and memes.

And who better combines the triumvirate of cuteness, menace and blankness than internet famous cat, Wilfred? The Chinchilla Persian’s social media presence is what you might expect from a feline with 1.2 million followers: pictures and videos of Winfred, lapping water, sitting various places, riding in the car, being taken shopping...

....all the while, projecting an existentially destabilizing, double Eye of Sauron-like, baleful, yet blank, judging gaze over all of humanity. 

Michael Rapport’s YouTube video where he profanely and hysterically exclaims over a video of Wilfred, well, just sitting blankly in a backyard, comedically underlines the potential threat of that unblinking saucer eyed stare. 

According to Rappaport, YouTube took the video down because of “cat shaming.”

Or because it is not wise to make fun of your predator.