Saturday, July 29, 2017

Illegal Pets

The Not Fast and the Furrious:

I don't really have a good rationale behind this one, but I will take a swing at explaining it....

Pets, our lack of one and apparent inability to get one, is a constant topic of conversation between myself and my younger son. We keep trying to come up with some sort of engaging animal that he would enjoy caring for that wouldn't  cause an anaphylactic allergic reaction in his dad.

At some point, we discussed the possibility of a ferret, and even visited a pet shop that featured them while we were out of town. Because of course, they are still notoriously illegal as pets in NYC.  A quote from the press release from the NYC health department regarding ferret illegality:

"Ferrets are known for their unpredictable behavior, and they are prone to vicious, unprovoked attacks on humans....In New York... a ferret could crawl through holes in walls or travel along risers or ducts to other apartments, with potentially tragic consequences for the neighbor of a ferret owner."

Sounds bad, doesn't it? And kind of funny. I suspect dogs present a much bigger threat to city dwelling humans. Although the concept of roving packs of malicious ferrets creeping through the ductwork of large apartment building to attack unsuspecting neighbors makes a fine horror film plot.

Not that I am campaigning for ferrets in the city in general or in our home....

I just needed something to pair with the Giant African Land Snail to provide a sense of scale. Alas, enormous snails are not legal as pets in the entire United States. There is apparently some risk that they could become a dangerous agricultural pest...and that they can also damage buildings. (But can they go through ducts to attack neighbors?)

So, while I find the idea of a huge pet snail very entertaining to contemplate, it seems I will not be able to get a 10" tall snail for my son to snuggle.

He is not sad about that.

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